Confident You NETWORK with Marion Swingler

BONUS #6 THE AFTER PARTY: THE SUPERPOWER OF YOUR MIND: Cultivating Calm in Personal Growth and the Concrete Jungle with Michelle Caines from CYP eps 24

April 04, 2024 • Marion Swingler • Episode 6

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Have you ever been torn between the non-stop energy of a metropolis like New York and the tranquil charm of small-town life? We have, and it's exactly what we're chatting about in our latest podcast episode. Join us as we share personal anecdotes of the hustle and bustle of city living, complete with those essential 24-hour delis, contrasted with our own cravings for a more serene, suburban existence. We weave through the quirky dynamics of a small town, where the sheriff might double as your kid's school bus driver, and discuss how places like Columbia, Maryland, might just strike the perfect balance between urban buzz and pastoral peace.

Mornings have transformed for us, and possibly for you too, once you discover the power of starting your day with purpose and positivity. In this episode, we delve into the impact of manifesting through mindfulness and meditation, with a routine that includes 35 affirmations to guide our intentions. We're not just talking about personal growth here; this practice has reshaped our business landscape as well. We explore the blend of spirituality and practicality, how technology can bolster your daily devotion, and we even share biblical passages that have inspired us to trust in the bigger plan. 

The parenting journey is packed with highs, lows, and plenty of unexpected turns. This time around, we're opening up about the tough moments when our little ones' words cut deep, and the way mindfulness can help us navigate these choppy waters. We talk about listening beyond the words to uncover the true emotions at play and how adapting parenting styles across generations doesn't mean losing sight of core values. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or just someone interested in the profound effects of mindful living, this episode offers heartfelt insights and real strategies for fostering intentional growth in ourselves and our children.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the After Party, episode 24. We about to get into it. Ma'am, you said something you said for a later time that we could discuss. Your preference right now is New York, but that's not where you want to be. Just give us a brief little. I don't understand. What do you love about New York now and what change do you want to make in life? Right so, New York is amazing. It's convenience everywhere. I got a 24-hour deli on the corner of my block. It's amazing.

Speaker 1:

You come home from the club 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock in the morning, go get you a sandwich, wait a minute, wait a minute. You know why you coming from the club. Because you out here, out here in these streets. Facts oh my gosh, oh my gosh, we're both moms. We be home. Ain't nobody going to that shit? Exactly, I be like oh, what time is it? Oh, nine. Oh my gosh, that's my bedtime. Time to Time to Right. We go to bed early. Okay, I need my beauty rest. I need it, I need it. No, but New York is convenient.

Speaker 1:

It's a lot of you know quick, fast things, but it's a little bit too quick and fast, like if I had, you know, tons of suburban money when I was younger, I would have moved out to the suburbs or maybe a small town and something that's a little bit more slower, a little bit more safer, because I got to use air quotes. I got to use air quotes with that, yeah, because anywhere anything can happen. Got some crazy people right. Just think about the forest and the trees and where you can hide a body in the weeds and they be like what's that smell? Like? I watch so much time shows, it's not even funny. You just said something else. You said think about the forest and the trees and the smell. Where's that? What's that that smell in your body? Okay, so I'm going to move to a small town. You segway this baby. I'm going to move to a small town.

Speaker 1:

My pastor, pastor Darius Daniels of Change Church, he always tells us about this small town that he is from and I think it would be perfect for you because it has trees and a forest and you'll be able to have that smell if you want. Because it kills Michael, mississippi. It kills. She said kill Michael, who killed him? K? Kill Michael. Who killed him Kills Michael. So apparently that place just kills Michael. So I would suggest that if your name is Michael, you don't need to go there. I was very specific to Michael, but your name is Michelle. I might have to find you somewhere else to go. Right, right, because actually I was named after my Uncle, michael. So, yeah, we not. That's a little bit too close. Yeah, I mean, but it's that small town, feel that you want.

Speaker 1:

They have one sheriff and one doctor, and if you go to the doctor's office and he's not there, you can just pull up at his house. And I believe he said the sheriff with the one car also drives the school bus. Who better to show up? Alright, let's backtrack a little bit. Let's backtrack just a little bit. That's a bit much.

Speaker 1:

You want to force and say what that's for. Am I wrong? Okay, I want to be able. I want, would be able to go to the store and say what's that store, am I wrong? Okay, I want to be able. I want to be able to have some conveniences, right, like, maybe there is a convenience store, but maybe it closes at 10pm. I think he did say it was one. What time it closed? Yeah, that thing closed at sundownown. We already know before the sun go down. Everybody's right, right, they close, they close too early. Yeah, yeah, so.

Speaker 1:

So columbia, baltimore, that's the place. Columbia, maryland I keep saying baltimore because it's so close and I visit balt much. So Columbia, maryland is the place where, like I, just I loved it there I visited. It was me taking time for myself, the kids were with their dad. I was like I'm not doing no work this weekend. I, things can wait. I don't have any pressing deadlines.

Speaker 1:

I'm taking a quick little drive to Maryland and I found this hotel. My goal was to go to Baltimore because they got the oyster spot that I love in Baltimore. Foodie, you're a foodie. Yes, I'm a foodie. I love, but it has to be good. You know what I mean. Like I don't eat junk, it gotta be good, it gotta be refined. I don't eat junk, it got to be good, it got to be refined. So I'm like, okay, let me find a, you know, cheaper hotel, try to like. But there was a Marriott it's not a cheap motel but more affordable, right, but it was in Columbia and so I got to spend time there.

Speaker 1:

There was a bar in the like, a little bar restaurant in the hotel. It was amazing, food was great and I was like coming down in my pajamas at first and I see these people at the door, you know people coming off the street that wasn't even staying at the hotel, dressed to the nines. I was like, oh no, no, let me go back upstairs and put on my good, my good church clothes and you know what I'm saying so you can get out there in the saying, so I could get out in them streets in that bar. That was great. Um, I got to hike over there at a little park. I got to do some walking, some trails.

Speaker 1:

It was just, it was just nice, it was peaceful, it felt, it felt good like. It felt like okay, I could, I could live here. It felt kind of like how serious are? Okay, I could live here. It felt kind of like home. How serious are you about that? I could live here. I'm dead serious. I'm so serious. It's just that I have to wait until the girls are like out of school and you know, graduating and all that stuff. But yeah, I could retire there. I could retire there. Nah, how serious? Because people that serious, they start house hunting.

Speaker 1:

So while I was there, I found a realtor, I found some open houses and I went to each open house that I could find within a certain mile radius and I saw about four houses that weekend. Yes, I did, and it wasn't that I was ready to move right then and there. But it's just me, I know, like manifesting things, you got to put it in motion, you got to be intentional and you got to know like, okay, is this really real? Is this feeling really real? And even the houses one of them was I was like if I had it right now, I'd be living right here Because it was really. And it's not that I like things that are extravagant and like I'm very, very like mute when it comes to certain things, but it's just the feeling that it gave. And I like architecture and it had it. It had like archway doorways. It was so cute. It was an older house, but they had really kept it up well, even the basement was like new carpet and everything which could be something under that carpet. You never know. Sometimes people try to hide stuff, but they like the open house coming. All. Right, this is what we gonna do. We gonna invest in this carpet right here. They're gonna come the week before the open house like right, and then when they buy the house, we're taking this carpet back. We're gonna get our money back. Right, exactly, they'll refund. No, but it was, it was, it was a good feeling. So I don't, you know, I don't know specifically that it will be that, but I I'm very close to getting you know. That be in the spot, that be in the spot, so we'll see.

Speaker 1:

You said that it's important for you, in to to plan for the future, to actually visualize things, to actually test it out and see, yes, how this would play out. What other ways have you done that in your life and how have they? Have they manifested? Oh, yes, oh yes. So where I am now, I actually manifested.

Speaker 1:

I take serious my mantras and I have my sayings. I have about 35 sayings that I say every morning and I don't get to skip a morning if I wake up super late because my iPhone will speak to me. You highlight some texts and you click on speak and it will say it. So I'm saying it, even if I can't say it out loud. I'm saying it in my head, depending on where I am. I got my earbud in so I'm listening to it and I'm making sure that I'm on top of my mantra. On top of that, I have like some in my phone and printed out on my desk is my visualization. So I have where I want to be and what I want in the future, and that's there.

Speaker 1:

When I plan my week out, I'm coming from a place of knowing what 10 years from now is going to look like, and I'm working backwards, and so I'm taking the steps day by day. This is in my coaching program too. So I'm taking the steps day by day to order to get to that 10 year goal. So I'm taking the steps day by day to order to get to that 10 year goal. What does today look like for me to get to that 10 year goal? And so I mostly not purposefully have manifested things. We're all manifesting anyway, right? No matter what we're thinking, no matter what we're doing, we're already manifesting. It may be something you don't like, it may be something that is positive or negative, right, positive or negative. We're manifesting. And so I absolutely like where I am in my business. I have seen it way, way back when I've even made vision boards. Like I told you, my sister is a coach, so she's the relationship coach. But what took her there was her manifesting on her husband, and before that she used to do vision board workshops where we would sit and she would say what kind of relationship you want to have, what kind of life you want to have, and she would dig deep and you come out there crying. But you also have a visual representation that you look at every day and you can manage, um, my use mindfulness and meditate on it every day, sort of see things start to come into your life. It's it's a little bit scary, it's a little bit crazy, but it's so accurate and it works. It really works. It's amazing. It's amazing.

Speaker 1:

You said something that totally took me right to god's word because word, because God knew the end from the beginning. Girl, yes, you said you knew the end. I know what's going on 10 years from now, and so I'm working this thing. I planned it all. I just worked backwards from what my expected end is Exactly and I just work my way back. You're living such a and teaching such a biblical lifestyle.

Speaker 1:

Yes, in terms of living out promises that are in this book that I read and that I read often, often. Yes, so I got something else to share with you. Yes, that, um. So I actually got this from someone who I admire very, very much. Um, and she has a podcast and she sort of I was going to be interviewed on her podcast and she said, okay, when I knew you were coming, I looked up some scriptures that talked about mindfulness and meditation, and so I wrote down these scriptures. I've read them. You know, I don't I'm not like the type of Bible person that knows scriptures by heart, but I'm in tune, I'm in touch and I do read every day by heart. But I'm in tune, I'm in touch and I do read every day. So she gave me these and I'll read them all to you and they're not, um, you know the full meaning of them. The full. They're not word for word, but they're like a little snippet meaning of them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, psalms 46, 10 be still and know that.

Speaker 1:

I am god. That one. Right there, I was like, oh girl, it's four of them. And then we have wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's unpack, be still and know that. You can't do that, how you gonna do that, how you gonna do that? You can't do that.

Speaker 1:

That one is key, man, be still and know so. First, you have to be, you need to be present, you have to be, you need to be present, you need to be. What? Mindful, yes, yes, I'm glad you said that Mindfulness. You need to stop and know, because that's that mindfulness, yes, yes, and know, because that's that mindfulness, yes, yes, like yo, you're you, but I need you right in this moment. You need to be still and know. Know what I'm god.

Speaker 1:

So I don't care how this looks, what they're saying, how that feels I'm god and what does my promise say? I will work all things to build Exactly. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy how much it like it's one sentence, it's one sentence, right, but it's so full, it's so deep, and every time that I'm reading things and I'm going through the Bible, even if I already read it, you could read it again and you get something else. It's crazy. Oh, it's crazy. He's so good. Yes, yes, all right. So what does that scripture mean to you? I said what it meant to me. What does it mean to you? You read it. What did it mean to you? It's crazy. You asked me that because I was. I wasn't going to share this, but I'll share. It's a little personal, but I think the moment calls for it and I understand where he's going with this conversation. So let it be. So.

Speaker 1:

There was a moment where I was reading this book and you know I'm constantly reading. It's an entrepreneur. We got to read and in the book it said that you could have a mantra. And I'm like, yeah, I know that, but it's like you can have a mantra that is the word of God. And the mantra that it suggested was be still and know that I am God. And it said it suggested to say it 50 times and meditate on it and all of that stuff. So I'm like, all right, I'll try that. I wrote it down 50 times a few days in a row. I'm busy, I'm not doing it, no more, I'm not writing this out, no more. 50 times, my hand hurt.

Speaker 1:

So a few days after I had stopped not even a few, maybe two days after I had stopped something crazy happened in my business, where I'm not even going to tell you what it is, but it looked like things were going south to the point where I was going to have to stop. Period, no business. And so after going through that and going and I had to get a lawyer, it was, it was insane. It was insane. I wasn't going to jail or nothing like that, it wasn't crazy like that, but it was like what happened was so specific that it was only God saying like, okay, let's put you through this because something's coming from it. And in the end, like this was last year, so in the end, like this was last year, so in the end, now that this is closing up and everything I could see the revelation from it, I could see that he was preparing me for something greater. So now, when the next level of my business I am fully ready because I done crossed all the T's, dotted the I's I was like this ain't going to ever happen again.

Speaker 1:

But when it happened and when I was going through it, it felt like the end of the world. It felt like this is crazy. I was like where is this coming from? Like who does this happen to? It was so specific, like on Tuesday at 9, 12 pm, the girl with the glasses and the necklace on is going to cross the street but she's going to go over on this side. Like it was so just very specific. I was like this had to be God.

Speaker 1:

When it wrapped up, I'm like that was God teaching me so that I could make sure I'm moving forward and operating in my highest value, operating with integrity and I ain't making no silly mistakes, because that was a very specific silly mistake. And so to me, it means everything. It means to trust in him, it means to go down into the nitty gritty, be out there in them streets, be in those streets and still come above what you've been through and take from what you learned out that lesson and I wish I could tell you all the details, but I can't, I just can't. But imagine the worst thing you have ever been through the lowest of the low. There is a lesson to be learned, there is progress to be made, and that's what that means to me. That's what that means he got you, no matter what he got you. Yeah, he got you. Yeah, listen to be learned, progress to be made. All right now, amen.

Speaker 1:

On to number two. Yes, number two is romans 12 2, and I didn't write down the whole thing, but I wrote down intention, and so she attributed that to mindfulness as well. Um, I don't even know what this says. Galileans, intentional intention to your mind. Oh, you want to break that down? Yes, I'm gonna break that down. Give me that mindfulness, that intentionality of your mindfulness. How important is that? It's so important, it's so important. So I take this specifically.

Speaker 1:

So let me first say what mindfulness and meditation. So mindfulness is the being aware and in the present moment. The meditation is like the exercise, right? So if you go to the gym you say I want to lift 350 pounds, well, you got to get up to 350 pounds. If you've never done that before, if you ain't that strong, you got to work your way up to it. So the mindfulness, the mindfulness is the goal, the 350. The meditation is the practice, getting building up to it, adding on weight as you go.

Speaker 1:

And so, with intention, you have to be intentional about making space, physically and mentally, for meditating. So I had said earlier, one tip would be for a mom to create space in their home where it's just them, it's dedicated to them, and so that is intentionality in the physical. But when you sit there and you meditate, or you sit there and you decide I'm going to sit here and leave my phone out of it, be with myself in any way, that that is for you. You could just sip coffee and think about your day, you could journal, you could read. That is intention and it produces a result that you can't see immediately. But you're going to get to that 350 pounds, you're going to get there, you're going to get there, and so you can meditate with intention.

Speaker 1:

Some people meditate especially entrepreneurs at the beginning of their day about what does this day look like, or here's my goal for the day, how do I get there, and they meditate on that. But my favorite meditation, which is kind of not very exciting, is breathing. Yay, something we all do. So we all have that. We all have that ability to kind of calm our bodies and just by breathing in really deeply in your nose and exhaling out of your mouth, as long as you can, a little bit longer than the inhale, you automatically trigger your parasympathetic nervous system and you calm yourself immediately. Like it is like magic. And the more you practice that and the more you're intentional about sitting with your breath, the better off you'll be in life. It even has health benefits. So I mean, how could you not meditate? How could you not want to breathe deep? You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

So intention is one of those things that you have to purposefully plan time for yourself. You have to purposefully plan with intention what your day is going to look like and what your week is going to look like, what your 10 years is going to look like. So I love that intention. I love intention because I would say you need to be intentional about who you want to be, how you want to show up, how you want to respond in different situations. So you explain away bad behavior I'm trying to say it in a nice way or negative behavior, or that response that's not really becoming of the person that you want to be your best self. Intentionality also goes to your emotions and those emotions connecting to how you want to respond. So be intentional.

Speaker 1:

You look at, look back on something and you're like I didn't like how, when they said this, I just went nuts, I didn't like that. So you need to then look at who's the person. To me, I value what they say. Anyway, to have a response, hello. And then, if I do value what they say, we need to either have a conversation or I need to stop valuing what they say. Right, but what's but? But in that let me stop you, for okay, I'm not going to do too much.

Speaker 1:

But in that what is more plausible? Is it you stop valuing what they say or you having a conversation and seeing where they can alter and change their behavior? Okay, so I would say in one scenario, I'm going to stop valuing somebody that I don't value. Someone's opinion that I don't value, I don't care. If you do stand there and call me out of my name, I don't care, I don't mess with you in no way. We good, we all here in these streets you can see me, we all here in these streets. There you go Okay, so no, I'll behave, I'll behave. So yeah, I will, right, and that comes up. That comes up a lot with my parents, whereas they're putting too much onto the children or to another person where it's like. But you are in control of you and how you respond to things and how you see things. So maybe you want to take a step back and say, okay, where am I in this? Where am I? How am I responding? How am I coming through? How am I showing up? Yeah, so you got it. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

The other side of the point is, if they're close to me, we're going to have to have a conversation I plan on having. You could stay in my life and you're not my kid, my mom. You know you're not someone that I feel is an official, essential component to my life I'm going to have. If I feel like you're an essential component, we're going to have to have a conversation. I need you to understand, yes, but you're also, and that that I have boundaries. So if, if you do that, there are consequences, right, right, so you have the conversation. But I also like to tell people to self-reflect, anyway, even if that person is really close to you, kind of self-assess and be able to see where they are, where they're coming forward in the in a situation, so that they understand that maybe I play a little bit of a part into what they're saying, let me see if there's some truth to it. But we are definitely having a conversation and you are setting up boundaries, so you need all of the above. Yes, everyone needs all of the above.

Speaker 1:

Dear miss, we are going to go to scripture three. Scripture three is um, I wrote down, gal, and I believe the way you say it is galatians, right, yes, galatians, okay, um, I ain't mad at it, I ain't mad at it. I ain't mad at it either, cause you see it works out. We get there 522. Self-control, self-control yeah, that's a big one, that's a huge one. So self-control shows up for me because in the midst of me growing up and knowing how to be mindful, right, because, remember, it was a gift that was given to me knowing how to be mindful. But I'm a kid. I'm not practicing this all the time, not practicing this all the time. I got friends. I'm a teenager now. I got to get out there. I got to be out in these streets. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

So it would be times where, because of the trauma that I've gone through here and there, I was a hothead, like I would go off on somebody. I would never fight because I was like I'm a lady and I don't fight. I don't get my face scratched, nope. But I will tell you off in a minute. And it could be something. You could be joking with me, it could be. Somebody bumped it to me by accident. It took them Like I would just yes, the power of the tongue, that's another scripture. Okay, life and death and the power of the tongue and all that, yes.

Speaker 1:

So mindfulness has got me to the place where, when I did, you know, partake in it and was able to, like, bring things full circle, self-control was the first thing that I noticed I had. And in giving it to children and teaching it to children, they're able to regulate themselves and have self-control. So you might have a kid that's super, hyper, hyper, and you practice in mindfulness with them. Eventually, that kid is going to be able to self-regulate and control themselves. That's the beauty of self-control and mindfulness and meditating and all that. Yeah, I believe that self-control is definitely a discipline that everyone should practice and be mindful of. Yes, I'm done. All right, number four. All right, number four, james 119.

Speaker 1:

Slow to speak, slow to rap. Yeah, so you got to Slow to speak, slow to rap. Yeah, so you got to be slow to speak. Yeah, you know what? You got to be quick to do, right, what? Quick to listen? I love it, I love it.

Speaker 1:

See, I told you I didn't write down the whole thing, I didn't remember. I was just like, okay, yeah, I read them after she gave them to me and I was like, okay, let me, let me meditate on these. Yeah, so those four I'm actually going to be passing on to my clients too, the ones that are believers, because I feel like it's so much that we do in our day-to-day and that we go, even if you're going forward, and you like, okay, yes, michelle, I want to meditate, I'm with it, let's do this. You gotta see how God fits into it. You have to to make it work, make it impactful, like really, really impactful. If you are a believer, it's gonna be 20 times beneficial to you, you know. So, yes, yes, my goodness, yes, because if you're, if you're saying you're trying to have a conversation and all you're doing is talking, that's not a conversation, bingo, bingo.

Speaker 1:

So I wanted to get into something that you said earlier as well. You just, you just reminded me of parents being able to be vulnerable and actively listen to their children. That kind of ties into all of these scriptures, especially the last one. Did you imagine? Right? Your child is, um, you know, pre-teenage, whatever age, but you know, let's just say, pre-teen, 10, 11 years old. And they come to you and they're asking you for something and you're like get out of my face, I can't do this right now, like I'm cooking.

Speaker 1:

You could be in the kitchen sweating, cooking, trying to do something else, kid, um, catering to a baby, or have trying to have a phone conversation, something, and they're pressing and pressing you and they're asking you for something. You like, come on, get out of my face, get out of my face. And then they look at you and they say something so slick, it's so sharp and so hurtful, like Like you always busy, you ain't even doing nothing. Or you think you? You think I was going to say, you think you all that, lord, I'm tired and a bag of chips and a bag of chips Kids don't know that, yet I'm hungry. What kind of chips you like? I'm sorry, go ahead, keep talking, keep talking.

Speaker 1:

I'm sorry, but kids don't know that term, but they don't understand what they're saying, right, they're hurting the parents' feelings. And that's really what it is is that they're hurting the parents' feelings. So, as a parent, you got to be able to be open and understand that they're saying things that are hurtful to you because they're in a certain frame of mind. So you got to be open and vulnerable to say, okay, I'm not going to put them on punishment, I'm not going to clap that on them, I'm not going to, you know, make them feel any worse than what they're feeling because they're having a moment. So I need to investigate and see what this is.

Speaker 1:

So it takes a strong-minded self, you knowaware parent to be able to do that. You have to be vulnerable. You have to be able to listen and hear in the things that they don't say, right? So when they say something that's rude or it triggers you, it's what they're not saying. They're not saying I'm hurt or I love you or I want more time with you, or please come play with me Like they're not. They don't know how to communicate that.

Speaker 1:

So sometimes, a lot of times, it comes out as okay, I'm going to do it, get mom's attention, and so if mom is in my face yelling at me, she's close to me. I feel her presence. Yes, even though I pissed her off, I feel that presence. I got all the focus, all the attention on me. Right now I'm going to keep doing that. I'm going to keep kicking her and running away. That's crazy.

Speaker 1:

I've seen kids do that. I've seen it all. I was out there in them streets and I seen it. Don't do me like that. Don't do me like that. You said something. You said and it triggered in me. Sorry, I'm not sure what just got caught in my throat. I can't be laughing with you all hard. I'm sorry. Oh yes, oh yes. Keep my streets to myself, okay, we're gonna keep our pearls straight. We're gonna be good here. We go, okay. So kids say things sorry, let me get, take your time, take your time.

Speaker 1:

Kids do say things and I don't think that, um, everyone takes into account. They don't ask where did you hear that? Because it may have been coming from you. They learned exactly from listening to your conversation, or from listening to your conversation, or remember, that kids bully other kids and it may be something that's being said to them at school and they know how hurtful that thing said to them. So that's why they feel I'm gonna make this statement. Yeah, so they get it from somewhere, it comes from somewhere and a lot of the times it comes from the parent and so, just like what you say, they absorb and they'll say it back. For that you could go online and you could take this test and it kind of like points towards certain things and it gives you insight onto what may be going on with you. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

So it's we have to do the work on ourselves in order to show up for them, in order to be vulnerable for them, in order to actively listen to what they're saying, what they're not saying. You've got actively listen to what they're saying, what they're not saying. You got to work on yourself, because it's going to be two burdens. It's going to be a burden on you. If you're not, if you're not fully prepared, you can't hang. It's going to be a burden for you. But then it's like what are you teaching your kids when they get older? Exactly, they don't they. And then you're looking at them like don't treat my grandkids like that. And they're looking at you like and then you're looking at them like don't treat my grandkids like that. And they're looking at you like what are you talking about, right? And they're going to look at you like what are you talking about? I'm doing them better than you did me, because they think they're doing better and they probably are doing a smidge better.

Speaker 1:

But we are a product of our environment. So it's hard for us, but it can be done. It's hard for us to not do what our parents did to us to our own children. It's hard, but it can be done. It can absolutely. Yeah, you're right. I feel like that's where the switch came um between generations. It seems like one generation to say everything my parents did on with these things, I'm not doing those. So then we lose valuable things and change the way that we are parenting the next generation, and I think it keeps getting watered down if we go back and we track back. There were manners taught, there were values taught. There was a village literally village that helped you raise your children.

Speaker 1:

You highlighted before, uh, uh, in the main episode that you were a latchkey kid. I've experienced that, being a latchkey kid, for being the youngest, I wasn't the only one there it's it's. It's amazing how things just evolved because you couldn't have been a latchkey kid way, way, way, way back in the day it it. You know, they really literally had truant officers right around checking on the kids and things like that. It just seems like things have gotten a bit watered down in terms of the protection of kids, especially with social media and regular tv, just the things that they're exposed to on regular TV.

Speaker 1:

My kids, I watch TV with them. I know parents that, as I was watching TV with my children, letting them choose the channels, I watched my stuff after they went to bed. Then I watched what I wanted to watch, but while they were up, now we're going to sit here and watch TV. That's how my mom did it, so up. Now we're going to sit here and watch TV. That's how my mom did it, so, literally, now we're all going to sit here. You know, you had that big TV in the living room and everybody sat down and watched the same show. The same thing, shirley, happy Days. Listen, we're going to sit here and watch this and be all right with it.

Speaker 1:

The Jackson 5 show. Oh, they had a comedy show, oh, my goodness. So okay, I'm sorry, side track, but Janet, it's not the minute in my life, it's the length of my life. Listen, janet was getting it. Janet was getting it and Michael told her how to do it. See side track. Okay, back. Sorry, I had a me moment. It happens at times. I snap back real quick. So it's just that how things are getting watered down.

Speaker 1:

So I'm very elated that you are here to help parents, to help, specifically, moms know that they can still do the business of the business that they do while they still take care of the business of home and stuff. Right, right, you can have it all. You can't. You can't have it all. Yeah told you you could. Okay, I told you you couldn't have it. If you you just watched listening to the audio of this, you are missing some serious moves. I'm giving up with this. Right, got the neck rolling every time. My hand on the hip you can't even see, my hand is on my what Right? But, yes, I appreciate you taking the time to come to the after party.

Speaker 1:

It's the after party, okay, I'm sorry. So yeah, so yeah, people are like wait, they really are out here in these streets. Humans, humans in the world, not of the world. That's what we do. And if you are a parent, if you know a parent, if you know a mom that is going through with her children, or you know some children that are going through with their mom I'm sorry, I'm trying to say it with a straight face and it worked. Listen, listen. Some children that are going through with their parents. I'm just Listen, because she does parent coaching, she does children coaching and she's teaching mindfulness, how to use your full mind to your full value. Alright, I appreciate you being here in the after party with me. Everyone at dear underscore, miss canes is where you can follow and find her. All her information will be in the description box. I appreciate you guys hanging around for the after party with me and michelle. Have a great one. See you next time. Bye.