Confident You NETWORK with Marion Swingler

BONUS #10 THE AFTER PARTY: MASTERING YOUR BUSINESS JOURNEY: Eric F King's Guide to Relationship Building, Resilience, and Hip-Hop Insights in Entrepreneurship from CYP eps 21

• Marion Swingler • Episode 10

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WELCOME TO THE AFTER PARTY - the party after the show!

CALLING ALL ENTREPRENEURS!!!

Unlock the secrets of genuine connection in business with the wisdom of Eric F King, our distinguished guest who brings a wealth of knowledge on integrity-fueled success. His tales of walking away from deals to prioritize customer interest, the subtle art of personalizing client relationships, and masterful narrative control will change the way you approach business—and life.

Embark on a journey through the trials of adversity and rise to the pinnacle of success gleaning insights from Eric's path of relentless discipline. From the crucible of criticism emerges the entrepreneur's resilience, and this episode is a testament to transforming feedback into a ladder for growth. Learn how to face detractors with a constructive lens, and remember, sometimes the most insightful conversations happen during the after-party.

Feel inspired as we wrap up with a profound appreciation for the courage of business owners in today's challenging landscape. With a nod to the legends of hip-hop, Tupac and Biggie, we draw parallels between music and business—understanding your audience and maintaining dedication in the face of fluctuating engagement. Take away a directory of tried-and-true practices for anyone currently on or considering the entrepreneurial trek, bolstered by the insights and experiences of Eric F King and the shared wisdom of our community.

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CONNECT AND FOLLOW Eric F. King
LINKEDIN:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/%E2%AD%90%EF%B8%8Feric-f-king%E2%AD%90%EF%B8%8F-5b33b418a/

TIKTOK:
https://www.tiktok.com/@ericf.king

YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/@UCfXyjhEdHQp-bnWfXQcdQGQ 

FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/bizsuccesswitheric/

INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eric.f.king/

********Don't forget to tell them "MARION of Confident You Podcast" sent you :)
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Speaker 1:

This is the after party. After party for episode 21 with Eric F King. Mr King is there anything else you would like to share with the people?

Speaker 2:

You know, I think you are so skillful as to bring everything out, like I can't think of something I didn't talk about. You are an amazing host and interviewer. You know, like I don't know if you're old enough to remember Oprah Winfrey show, but yeah, yeah, you're like Oprah Winfrey, you're pretty good.

Speaker 1:

Thank you what Grew up on Oprah, that four o'clock time slot for no one else but Oprah? I remember her episode where he was interviewing the Ku Klux Klan and I think what was that? Muslims?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, muslims. The guy with the tie with the bow tie Paragon, paragon.

Speaker 1:

I apologize Because no disrespect at all, it just escaped me.

Speaker 2:

No, he's Muslim.

Speaker 1:

The odd thing is what stuck with me. Yeah, the KKK being there was the odd thing for me as a child. So that's what stuck with me. I will never forget that episode. But then to hear after she did that, she said, yeah, I'll never do that again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's the thing that you said you say with sales, that you teach with sales, that you're impressing everyone to have with sales. She said, no, I'm going to have control of this and no, I will never give space or attention to something that I feel is not necessary, it's unhealthy and I'm just never going to give. So she took in that instance, in that moment, on that segment, in that interview, she realized I got to control this. I can't. This narrative can never go out of my control. Yes, that's when everything changed out of my control. Yes, that's when everything changed.

Speaker 1:

I believe she hired Gail, her friend, to be her, or she gave her more responsibilities as a producer of the show. You know she was much more hands on and she really knew what she wanted to do. I feel as though that's what you're teaching in your sales. You're teaching the art of knowing who you are, what you provide and who the person or entity is, that is, to take full advantage of what it is. I like that you shared that the gentleman that you followed walked away from that organization and did not attempt to make that sale because he knew, looking at that paperwork or listening to what they were saying they were getting, he knew this is going to hurt you and I'm not going to do that. I'm an honorable. It's a great thing for someone to be able to do business and be honorable. Is that something that you teach or speak on in your course?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I do. I talk about how you have to do what's right for the customer. In the short run you may make money by not doing what's right, but in the long run it will hurt you, it will hurt your business. You know you have to do what's right and you'll get so many referrals if you just do what's right. You'll be amazed at how people won't even know they're referring you. They're just telling people about their great experience. You know you, just you know. So in the long run you will and it's your word, like your word is something that it's the most important thing, right? So if you do good to others, it's amazing. It will just come right back to you.

Speaker 1:

So if you do good to others and your word is so vital, but you're saying that they're making that referral. The thing that you highlighted first was that you watched him make his his client, his potential customer, his friend, yes. So it's like now oh, call my girl, she got you, she's going to hook you up, she's going to. It becomes so easy and so so natural for you to remember that person because of that good experience with that person. So how important is building that relationship, keeping that relationship, checking on that person, or just remembering those tips about that person so that when you speak with them, that personable interaction continues.

Speaker 2:

It's very important. One thing I did not mention was when he takes notes. He doesn't just take notes on your business and your copier, he takes notes on you. So he would write down the guy has a son who's in soccer, a 10 old in soccer. He write things like that down and if he contacts you in a year from now he'll say how about your son? He's probably 11 now. Does he still play soccer? And the customer like oh my God, oh wow, where do you keep those notes Like a notebook is hard.

Speaker 2:

Well, back then, you know, we just had a notebook, right, there was no, we didn't put them in any digital location, it was just notes. But yeah, so you have to have some kind of CRM where you put the name of the customer. Most people just have the name, the email, the phone number. He writes detailed notes on each person. Detailed notes If they have a dog. What kind of dog?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

How old is the dog? Because a person who has a dog loves their dog. If you talk about their dog and the type of dog they have, they're like, oh, this guy's my friend, yeah, this guy's my friend. One thing I teach in my coaching is build. First thing you do is build rapport. When you meet somebody, do not talk about your product initially, because then it's trans, it's a transactional meeting. You don't want it to be a transactional meeting. You want it to be a meeting, a meeting amongst friends a meeting amongst friends?

Speaker 1:

That's a powerful statement. A meeting amongst friends, that's a powerful statement. A meeting amongst friends, yes, wow, that's profound. I just, I want to to to just I want to add something, because you do the spreadsheet. So for me, when I started to make an effort to remember people's names which I'm now much better than I used to be I used to just say, yeah, you're going to have to tell me that again. I can't remember. I just I just stuck with it and held onto it and just said that's who I was. When I made the decision that that's not who I was, that I could make an effort, I could try, I could set up things. One of the things I set up was in my phone, in the notes for the person.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

I have the things that I know about them.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you know, I have those things in the note under your, under your phone, so technology has really, really helped me in that area. So I just wanted to add that tidbit. But I want to talk about I just had another question about, now that I'm bringing up cell phones and technology and you saying the way you treat people and your word, and that's what it means. I'm not making light of it, I'm saying that that's what, that it means a lot, it's very valuable.

Speaker 1:

Your word is your bond. It means something. It means something in the hood and it means something in business. It means something to your mama, because lie to her and see what happens. I'm just saying your word means something. So, with your word means something. And now that we're in this digital technology stage, what do you feel or how do you explain to people that the ramifications of being dishonest in business, of signing that client and you knew they weren't a fit, and now this thing is hurting them and now they can take it to the two thumbs and go ahead and go to social media and attack your business. How do you, how do you express, how can you recover what, what, what do you say about that?

Speaker 2:

yeah, it's hard to recover. You know, it's funny because when I, when I I I started in, there was no social media, so we were honorable, even though we didn't have to worry about that. Now, oh my goodness, they can put you on anywhere and everybody will know what you thought you did in secret. Everybody knows what you do in the dark will come to light, and especially in this technology, in this age of technology.

Speaker 1:

And all you really need. After one person comes forward, I don't want to say any cases or anything. Other people will climb out of the woodwork and go.

Speaker 2:

You don't have to say cases, we all know. We all know what you're talking about. It's true and you know what. And I always say to cases like that you're talking about, it's true and you know what. And I always say to cases like that we're not going to mention any names. I'm happy it happened because you can be put on a pedestal as this great human being, but you've hurt so many people, my God, and nobody knows, until somebody has the courage to stand up.

Speaker 2:

Nobody knows until somebody has the courage to stand up. The people who have the courage to stand up, they do it at their own peril, because they have hate. Because of it, they have to share things with their family that are not, you know, something to be proud of. Yes, but they stood up and they said it, and the person needs to have to deal with the consequences.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And it's happening more and more now. Yes, it is More and more. People are dealing with the consequences, and those consequences are rendering their whole career null and void. Yes, people are taking back their awards from them, and I think that is how it should be. Wow, because you can't be this honorable human being on TV but be hurting people in private. Yeah, people need to know.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, and it comes to you and you see, it's coming to light.

Speaker 2:

It's coming to light and maybe 30 years later, 40 years later, it still comes to light.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, that's the thing. That's the thing, because you said you want to make sure that people are honorable in business. One of the things you said to me as I signed up for your program, you said I can't give you this if you're going to use this for evil yeah, yeah the things that I'm going to teach you are going to be transformational yeah so I want to make sure that the impact that you're going to make is good, but it's not negative and it won't adversely hurt anyone.

Speaker 1:

you made me take a vow, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's important because I I teach influence and persuasion. Influence and persuasion I mean when I mean it's sales, but it's influence and persuasion. And and, if you think about it, the people that are the best at influence and persuasion are people that move countries, like politicians. People that are the best at influence and persuasion are people that move countries, like politicians, people that move corporations. Right. So you have a power when you are able to influence and persuade.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And people can use the power for good or for evil. Yes, absolutely, it's their choice, so that's why I can't control that. Unfortunately, if someone pays to join my program, they join my program. I'm just going to give them the information, but truly I want to be able to know that at least while they were here, they told me that they use it for good. Because, it's powerful and it can be used either way because it works.

Speaker 1:

It's like laws like gravity. It works for everybody, right, Right? So what is your success rate? You're saying it's working for everyone.

Speaker 2:

Well, no, well, here's the thing I won't say everyone that took the course is having great results, because some people will use it and some people won't. True, some people will go right back to what they were doing and say, well, you know, like they don't have the courage to use it. I have the courage to use it, yes, because it's not comfortable at first, like if someone's asking you questions, it's not comfortable to interrupt them. But you have to to get control right, because the person who's asking questions is in control of the conversation yes right, the person who's asking.

Speaker 2:

I mean, if, if you look at Oprah and all those people, they're in control of the conversation because they're asking the question, you know, if someone screeched on them they'd be uncomfortable because they don't have any control anymore. Right, so you know, but you know a high, a very it's, it's to, to put it in numbers, at least 75 percent of the people that I see in my course come, come back to tell me that this is working for them. Yes, yes, you have the odd one that will just maybe start and won't finish, or or some, or will just get out of sales, totally stop their business, just get out of sales, totally stop their business. You know you, just you know you. You know you can't control it.

Speaker 2:

But the people that are serious, I don't, I don't know any of them that don't have success. Because when you learn something like this, you learn these skills. You can put it into, into use the next day, next appointment. You know what I mean? Yes, and then if you, if you put it to use your next appointment, you get the sale and you're thinking, wait a minute, if I didn't have that skill, I wouldn't be able to overcome that objection, I would have missed out on a thousand dollars.

Speaker 2:

I just made a thousand dollars because of what I learned from him. Now imagine doing that every month, right Month after month, year after year. So the results are you know it's on, you know there's no limit.

Speaker 1:

There's no limit, there's no limit. So you mentioned in the episode limiting beliefs. Yes, can you expound on what you feel? The top three limiting beliefs are for people in business? Three limiting beliefs are for people in business.

Speaker 2:

Number one is that because of their background, where they came from maybe their parents never went to college, maybe their dad is in jail, maybe their mom is on drugs they feel they're not worthy to be as successful as the guy or the lady who came from a, let's just say, normal background. They don't realize it. Regardless of your background, you can change. You can change, you can be a new person, you can reinvent yourself. There are a lot of people that are successful that had a background that if you, if you look at it, you think they should be in jail or they should be, you know, on on cocaine, or you know, I mean oprah had a horrible background. Yeah, horrible, yes, I mean yeah, she, she know, if oprah ended up not achieving anything in life, people, people will not even blame her.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

I mean there are, there are. First of all, I've read over 200 biographies of people and one thing I'll tell you the people that make it the most, the highest, highest levels of success, usually have the most pain came from the most pain. Because, because they're able to fight through adversity, because they've gone through adversity, Right.

Speaker 2:

You know, you know someone. I was talking to someone a few. I forgot who it was. This was a few weeks ago. The guy said I wish I came from a rich family. I'm like, if you came from a rich family, you probably won't be as as good as a businessman that you are. You'd be spoiled, you. You like you won't. Even you would quit. You would quit. The reason why you stayed is because you had nothing. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Wow, you know what I mean. Job with that thorn in his side, the reason why God was like yeah, no, I'm not going to take that out, because you're praying to me more than ever. I mean, we talk all the time. Yeah, because you're in pain, you quit, yeah the all the time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because you're in pain, you quit. Yeah, yeah, the pain helps people to get through it. Yeah, you know, I mean they were. They were interviewing um. What's his name? Um, p diddy, I would say puffy, that was a 20 years ago p diddy, right, is that still his name? I don't even know, but he talked about how he changed it.

Speaker 1:

To love to love. Keep going, whatever we know who he is. To love, to love or Keep going.

Speaker 2:

Whatever we know who he is, I'm still calling him that.

Speaker 1:

His mama name is Sean. I'ma call him Sean.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna get Sean Collins. We know that for sure. So I think he said his dad passed away when he was a kid like three, and he said that he'd be riding in a train. He would have to ride in a train to go to the record producer from work every day and people said, well, why would you do that? He said I'm thinking about my mom and how I have to take care of her because I don't have a dad. Now, if he had a dad and he came from a quote normal home, he wouldn't go on those um, hour-long rides every day trying to help his mom. Because he's like his dad got that. You never know. He may not be successful. So sometimes it's the pain is that creates the why. That wants that, that makes you do what you do. You know that's why you should, whatever pain you're going through, you should embrace it, thank God for it, be grateful and use it as ammunition for where you want to go. You should use it as ammunition.

Speaker 1:

Use it as ammunition for where you want to go. My God, if pain does not fuel you to get things done, it should anyway. Um, there are, unfortunately, people that that, um, like you were saying before, they just don't have the uh confidence. They don't, they don't know, they can't get out of to me. Get out of their own way. Yes, get there. It's amazing how you hold yourself back. I'm saying all of these things because I can look back and see when I held myself back.

Speaker 2:

Me too, me too, I was, yeah, I, I, I, I was one of those people that the self-limiting beliefs, it was there, all of that was there, yeah, and that's that's one of the reasons I'm able to teach it so well, because I've experienced it. I've experienced it, like I said, I didn't come from a dysfunctional home, so I can't use that as that's not my story, right, but I have gone through challenges in life. You know, I came here when I was a teenager. You know, by myself. I didn't come with my parents.

Speaker 1:

I came by myself. So I went through so much like, yeah, and I don't, you came from Nigeria to here by myself At how old, I was 19. At 19?, with no other family.

Speaker 2:

No, so I came to stay with somebody that I, that we knew like a friend of a family. So I stayed with him for six months before I moved out on my own. But I didn't, like I had to send money to Nigeria to people. Nobody sent money to me, right? People talk about college and how fun it is, like I didn't have the experience. Most of the experience in college.

Speaker 2:

For me it was working more than 40 hours a week, you know, going to school full time. Like I didn't have to the parties that they talk about, I didn't have time for them. So I can just imagine how great they were. Wow, yeah, yeah, I was. I. You know I have to be responsible because nobody can help me. Wow, nobody can help me. Even even though my dad was okay in Nigeria, if you change, if you look at the exchange rate, right, like he can't, he can't pay my rent here, Like it would be a lot of money in Nigerian money, right? So you know, so I went through a lot, but you know I thank him for the discipline he put in. I was always disciplined and hardworking and that helps. You know, that helps.

Speaker 1:

You were always disciplined and hardworking helps. You were always disciplined and hardworking. How is it that you went from working from Xerox to working for yourself?

Speaker 2:

Well, actually, when I, after leaving Xerox, I worked for a couple other companies, there's a company, well, you probably know Staples, you know Staples, but I work, I worked in the corporate accounts. So I I sold um staples corporate accounts to companies for like a hundred thousand dollar deals 90, you know large deals and um, that's where I became vp of sales and I started moving up in the ranks. But again, I always want to be a business owner. So I started a production company in atlanta back then and I started to um, I'd rent out space, bring speakers in and then have people pay to to come in and watch them, and that was one of my first businesses, yeah, so then, and then I had I was in a network marketing company for a little while moved out to the top of the ranks there.

Speaker 2:

I still get checks from there too, which is awesome. But you know, I I got into entrepreneurship and then I heard that you can create a course. You can create a course on something you're good at, charge people for it, help them and then make money and create a business. I'm like okay.

Speaker 1:

What year did you hear that?

Speaker 2:

I was like four, five years ago yeah not too long ago yeah yeah, yeah, that's when I heard and I'm like I can do this, wow. So I started doing research on courses and I did my first course. It's funny because I told you I was in that marketing company, right, I did my first course because I started, I learned how to get leads online, okay, and I became the number one recruiter in the whole company, number one recruiter with the system. So I said that's a course. So I created a course and it was on LinkedIn and I taught people how to use LinkedIn to get leads and build teams. And that was my first course. It was $9.97. I'll never forget that was the price.

Speaker 2:

And then and I remember the price because one guy saw me a video I did online and he contacted me and he said so we're talking. And he said I'm interested. I said you're interested in what he said in your course. He assumed I had a course. I didn't have one. I said I don't. So I didn't say I don't have one. I just said how much would you pay for a course? He said, oh, if you can teach me how to do what you do, and you do that, I mean I pay like a grand for it. I'm like, okay, okay, so okay, can I get back to you? And he said, sure, so I created the course. I made it 997. I called him. I said I have great news. Not only do I have a course, but it's not even $1,000. It's only $9.97. Because that's only $9.97.

Speaker 1:

Sir, that was so masterful because you didn't have a course, but because you use your first skill of listening yes, asking a question and then listening. Well, what is it that you think I could teach you? What would you pay for it? How much would you pay? Masterful, yeah, masterful. Can you this? This whole time you've had something on the wall behind you. Can you read that to me?

Speaker 2:

oh yeah, success. That one hard work, persistence, late, late nights, rejection, sacrifices, discipline, criticism, doubt, failure, risks.

Speaker 1:

How do you teach your students to deal with criticism?

Speaker 2:

Well, one thing I teach people is this Criticism is normal, like we get criticized by different people, always consider the source. Consider the source. So my first youtube video I did it and it was it was dark then the sound that the lighting was off, the the the town quality was hard wasn't. It wasn't that good. The first person that commented criticized me, but then I went because you know, on you can click to see theirs. He had no videos. So I'm like, okay, why would it bother me if he has no videos? He's not an authority. He's not an authority. So consider the source first of all. And some criticism is actually good. Right, it could be constructive. Some is good and you know, if it's just jealousy or something, you just ignore it. You just ignore because you're gonna get criticism. In fact, if you don't get any criticism, you're not doing anything. You're not doing anything. Spectacular, right? No, but yeah, you're not doing anything, so you should get criticism. The most successful people in the world are the most criticized people in the world. Yes, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, I mean, if you're on a local level, let's use a newscaster. If you're a local newscaster in Atlanta, you're getting criticized by people in Atlanta. But then if you go on national, if you go on CNN, you start getting criticized by the whole country. But you're on a bigger stage, you're making more money and you're more successful, but you're getting more criticized, right? So it comes with the territory. Just consider the source and don't let it stop you From what you're doing.

Speaker 1:

Like my favorite rapper More money, more problems.

Speaker 2:

Oh my goodness, really yeah, he's my favorite too, he's not gonna. You know, it's funny because there's so many rappers that has come after him. To me there's none. None of them are even close to him in terms of the music. I'm like it was just, there's nothing like it I get. Yeah, so for me anyway. So, but you're right, people will. They will be criticized. If you're not criticized, you're not doing anything.

Speaker 2:

That's the first step, my son. I have three sons, one of my sons in grade four, I think grade four. They asked him if he can do the announcement. They do some announcement in the morning where they talk to the dude. It's almost like news. But it's always a fifth grader that does it, not a fourth grader. But my son is very well, he's very eloquent. He's very eloquent. So they asked him to do it. So he was very nervous but he did it and he said Dad, my the teacher said I did a great job. But some of my classmates were criticizing me, right? And I said well, let me ask you a question. Didn't you say you're the first fourth grader to do it? He said yeah, I said so. Your teacher saw something in you. So the fact that they're criticizing you is a good thing. That means you're doing something that they can't do. So the more criticism you get, the better.

Speaker 1:

Yes, he said. Well, I never looked at it that way.

Speaker 2:

Wow. So I changed his mindset towards criticism and he never bothered him again.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

You know what?

Speaker 1:

I mean I, I it becomes criticism.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, with jealousy comes criticism. You can't you can't even believe that he's doing it Like he's not even supposed to do it till next year, right? So?

Speaker 1:

they already hate you before you even start Right Now. That's not even just his peers. All the fifth grade is going. So none of us was good enough.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, exactly, I said. I said congratulations, yes, you're getting criticism. That's awesome. That means that you're in a place where they want to be and they can't be there. He's like yeah, you're right, dad, I never thought of it like that. It's a mindset. It's a mindset to shift. That's all. He wrote a book, by the way. He wrote a book at 13. It's on Amazon. I taught him how to write a book.

Speaker 1:

Wait, hold pause. You taught him what. I apologize for any inconvenience I may cause you when I have moments. I'm having a moment right now, Right here is going to wait. What did he just say?

Speaker 2:

I wrote a book right.

Speaker 1:

OK, I'd love to hear about that.

Speaker 2:

It's right here Home. Business boom, it's on Amazon.

Speaker 1:

OK, ok, so we need that. I didn't, I didn't want to talk about that for a reason I don't.

Speaker 2:

I don't because this, because the book has nothing to do with my, with my sales coaching. I wanted, I wanted to keep it on track, so that's why I didn't, okay, so guess what?

Speaker 1:

we're gonna put it as a bonus. You know how you have bonuses in your course. Yeah, we'll have bonus in the episode, and then whenever this after party airs, you just showed it, so they're going to have to know where they can get that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you see, the thing is, I don't want them to get sidetracked, right, If they get sidetracked by this, they won't go to CompassionateClosecom, of course. So you want them to?

Speaker 1:

focus. That's right, Okay Well they just called the title, so they'll be able to look it up. I will leave that alone, sir. But back to criticism. How do you thicken the skin of your students to be able to deal with, or those that have been hurt by? How do you get them to deal with that?

Speaker 2:

I think there are two things. One you have to determine what your why is, because your why will keep you doing the thing, even though you're being criticized for it, right?

Speaker 2:

So if you know that you're doing that, you're making these sales for your child, or you want to retire your husband or you want to, whatever it is, it will push you to keep going, regardless of the criticism. You have to know your why. That's what will make you get through it. And you also have to realize that the opinions of the only opinions you should concern yourself with- Come on.

Speaker 2:

Very few people, very, very few people. Most people don't matter in your life. I don't know, I don't even know why. Why then you think about them, Like you know, really, sometimes we think we think about people that don't care about us.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

So why do we care what they think?

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

You know what I mean. Care about us, yes, so why do we care what they think? Yes, you know. I mean, you know, like what, eric? What if I make so much money? And and my friends back in the hood, you know, think I'm a. I'm a. What do you call it? Uh, thomas, or what do you call?

Speaker 1:

it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, uncle tom right yeah, I'm thinking, I think it's a pretty quite just justice.

Speaker 1:

Clarence Thomas, you're rude.

Speaker 2:

Before he showed up. You're rude, okay, yeah. So now, how? How often do you think that people back in the hood are sitting around thinking about you? They have other things to worry about. Why worry about what they think? What they think doesn't matter If you look at the scheme of things, the whole scheme of things. What matters is the people that are relying on you your kids, your spouse. It doesn't matter what everybody thinks. So you have to stop worrying about what everybody thinks.

Speaker 2:

People say well, I don't want to follow up, because what if he thinks that I'm desperate? Let me tell you something. You gave him an offer. He said he's not interested. You asked him okay, when should I follow up? And he says next week. He gave you permission to follow up. Yes, maybe he's expecting it. Maybe, if you don't follow up, you're like I thought you'd follow up. Yes, maybe he's expecting it. Maybe, if you don't follow up, you're like I thought you'd follow up. Yes, no.

Speaker 2:

That's why I teach people to ask permission, ask permission to follow up, because if you don't ask permission, it feels unnatural to call right. So if I say, marin, I understand that this isn't a good time for you to buy my offer, I understand, but would it be okay if I followed up with you? And if you say, yes, okay, so when would be a good time? And then you say, well, you know, maybe about three months or so. Okay, no problem, I'm putting it down right here and I'll follow up with you in three months.

Speaker 2:

Now I have the permission, so I shouldn't think that. What will she think about me if I follow up? No, be a man of your word and follow up in three months. Yes, I mean yeah, yeah, and don't worry about what people say. You know, as long as you're doing what's right, it doesn't matter. People will always talk. I did a video and I said and I did a video and I said if you have a small car and you have big kids, they're going to say, with those big kids, she needs to buy a bigger car, what's wrong with it? If you buy an Escalade, they're like, look at that Escalade she has, that's a gas guzzler.

Speaker 1:

Why would she buy that?

Speaker 2:

And then you move into a bigger house. Oh, now she's trying to flex. Now she's trying to flex. Right, they're going to criticize you anyway. You might as well do what you want to do, so go ahead and give the people what they want. They're going to criticize you anyway, you know, let them just do it, you know yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's amazing to me. I think, that most critics are people who aren't doing anything. They're just watching.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. That's their job to criticize.

Speaker 1:

And they're not even getting paid for it. No, no, there are some critics making good money to write books for the newspaper or blogs, to rate restaurants, to rate hotels, to rate anything. You and your little country bumpkin self cannot and don't think I'm getting on country bumpkin, because, yeah, I got some in me, we're not doing that. But I'm just saying you're just sitting like a lump on. That's what I'll call you. You're a lump on a log self Just sitting there watching life go by.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, somebody, I did a post once. It's funny because I did a post once, because I travel a lot. Okay, I'm divorced, I have three kids and we travel together. My kids love to travel, so I travel a lot and I put it on social. So one guy said are you a vlogger or a coach? Right. So in other words, he's saying, because you're a coach, you don't need to be showing pictures of you guys going to carbo, san lucas and germany and all that.

Speaker 1:

I'm not doing it for him no, I don't care what he said, I'm not doing for him, right so, so.

Speaker 2:

So you think I'll just look at him and say, oh, you know what? We're not, I'm not, we're not doing that anymore, because one guy said I'm not, no, who cares what he said I don't care, I don't do it for him. You know what I mean. And then there's somebody else who says Eric, thank you so much, you inspired me. Yes, you know what I mean. So would I stop doing it for the critic, and, and, and and and deprive the the young kids that are inspired by it? Why would I do that?

Speaker 1:

no, so it's you know who cares inspiration is evident because that means if you're doing it and I'm taking your class to learn what you doing I can do it yeah yeah, yeah, look.

Speaker 2:

so one of my sons is a soccer player. He was on a travel team, and I don't know if you know anything about sports, kids sports. There's a rec level and then there's a travel team right the rec level is cheaper.

Speaker 2:

It's like $150. So the kids come together and they're playing Now, then they try out for the rec and that's like two grand. So I didn't know why. But what happened was when my kid went to try out I'm looking around and I asked him. I asked one of the fathers of the kid. I said there are two other kids that are really really good. Why aren't they trying out? And he said oh, he said their parents can't afford that. I said really. Oh yeah, that's like two grand, oh no they can't.

Speaker 2:

I said, but this guy, but the kid's. So good, he could be a professional. He said, yeah, but he can't afford that. I'm like, wow, now think about it. Let's say the father had a business opportunity or some kind of opportunity to make money, but because he was worried about what people thought, he never did it. Then he would be depriving his son of getting on the travel team without even knowing it. Yes, now that's why I talk about money mindset in my first class. You have to have the mindset that it's okay to be wealthy, it's okay to have more than enough, it's okay. It's okay Because if you don't think it's okay, it will affect your sales.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

You know what I mean? Yes, it's okay.

Speaker 1:

Yes, because you're talking to someone that believes that. You're talking to someone who just started on social media months ago.

Speaker 2:

Oh really.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, december, december the 22nd, congratulations, december the 22nd. Because I was like I don't need to be in front of everybody, nobody needs to know everything I'm doing, and I don't. I just thought it was useless until I took a class and David Shands was there. Yeah, he was one of the three, and it was grow your biz. And he said use it for what you want to use it for, you choose. If you don't want to put all your business out there, but you want to put your business out there, then put your business out there and don't put your personal business out there. It's up to you. The only person who could hurt you at that point is you. So put out what you actually want. And then he said and guess what? If you don't like what you posted, you can actually delete it. You can do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so he gave us a challenge that night on the 21st. He said if you don't have social media, start what I started with Instagram to Facebook. I connected them both so I would just post on Instagram and automatically post it on Facebook. I don't even know how to use Facebook, but my stuff is on Facebook because it's the automatic connection to it. I called someone and that's how it started for me.

Speaker 1:

And then, months later, he kept saying start a podcast. I'm like, start a podcast for what I love to help people. I love, for I'm learning so much that I want to share what I'm learning. So that's why Confident you is here Awesome. And I feel as though the confidence is not just on the part of. The confidence is threefold. The confidence is for me to be here every Thursday and never miss, no matter what. There have been times I have had to found a guest an hour before the show because things just didn't turn. It happened, but God made a way. Yeah, I trusted that it would be done. I knew that we would be doing and it happened. And that has happened a lot, believe it or not, or at least within 24 hours of it. It's happened a lot. But then there are people who are here that I didn't realize I had to try. I didn't even realize I had to try.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's amazing because when I watch you, you look like like a natural, like you look at you. Look like you were on TV before, like you were maybe a news broadcaster somewhere. That's how you look Like. If you didn't get on, think about how many people you'd be depriving of all this great information that they're getting from you.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yeah. I've always thought my personality was too big, so I'm like I don't need to do that or I'm going to have to change. My sister looked at me and said be yourself. The way this is going to work is to be yourself. I did that first episode to promote my son's business. My daughter sits there on the episode. We're supposed to be talking about my son's business. My daughter sits there on the episode. We're supposed to be talking about my son Ma. Yes, so you're going to do this. We're going to do this every Thursday. I said, girl, we're not doing that right now. Go back and look at the first. I literally said we're not doing that right now. I can't hear you. It's not working well.

Speaker 2:

Bye.

Speaker 1:

So, yes, it works for me and it's building my confidence in being heard and people finding value in what I have to say. Yeah, it's my confidence, it's the audiences that's getting the benefit of the guests and finding oh so you, you had coaches, so I could get a coach and they'll help me. Yes, someone can help you get better in this. And guess what? In other words, in an, on the other side of that coin, let's say you don't want to learn it. Now you know what you're looking for in someone that you want to do that for you. Or you can ask that person there hey, can you do this for me? I don't mind paying you, I don't want to do this stuff. There's that, and then there's the guest.

Speaker 1:

I'm finding that the guests walk away with even more confidence in what they're doing. Absolutely, we walk away with uh, um, even though you're a sales coach, you, just you. You get. The more we're talking, the more comfortable you're getting. The more you're sharing, the more you're realizing oh, I don't just have to talk. Nope, you don't have to have to talk about that. Talk about anything. We literally mentioned biggie, small.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I know, I know what does have to do with this right but it's because that's who you are.

Speaker 1:

It makes you relatable. That lets people know. Wait, so he just. Yes, I love God, and don't get me wrong, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I don't know who Biggie Smalls is and I don't have a favorite rapper or anything like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I love God. But I was listening to his stuff all the time Like there's nothing wrong with liking someone's music. No, his music is not anti-God. Right, it's not gospel music, but it's not anti-God.

Speaker 1:

It's not anti-God, it's not anti-God and the argument that I usually hear. With this I know they're like wait, she's way off. I'm listening the argument I usually hear with my stance on I Like Biggie is, but Tupac was better. I'm like, okay, if we're going with that era and that time, in that space of time where they both stood head to head, just going in that time Tupac was a poet. Biggie gave me what I like. Don't get me wrong. I love Tupac. I love the poetry of Tupac. I love the profound message that he had Dear Mama. I love the profound message.

Speaker 1:

I love him just being there with everything.

Speaker 2:

That's the way it is. That was a beautiful song.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I'm not taking anything from Tupac, but for me Biggie was an amazing storyteller. Yeah, he would do a rap and I could see the movie starring him.

Speaker 2:

Yes, talk about when he was a kid and the magazines they would read and like all those things.

Speaker 1:

And you could literally see the movie. His songs, to me, could compare to an Al Pacino movie. Some of his songs could compare to Scarface, if you take that one song and made a script for a movie. Oh my goodness, so, yeah, so that for me I sing. So, just hearing the story, classical music it's a story that's told. So, just coming from that, that story that's told, that is what? Yeah, that's why I choose who I choose and that's who I'm choosing, and you ain't changing me.

Speaker 2:

Another thing I think what I think too, for me, is that Biggie talked a lot about having a good time, having a good time partying and stuff. You know, tupac wanted to prove that he was a thug. I think he felt that he had to show that he's a thug and because of that, some of his songs were just about bashing other people. Because of that, and to me that wasn't necessary. I didn't think that was necessary. I mean, you can like them all there was Snoop and all these people but just saying I'm going to kill these people, I'm going to kill this guy, I was thinking that's not necessary. Now, I didn't come from the hood, so maybe I don't understand, right? I mean, I do agree, I don't know how it is to live in the. You know, because I understand that sometimes you have to be hard to fit in.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And I never had to be hard when I came from the suburbs.

Speaker 1:

And it's not even to fit in. You better be hard so you don't get hurt.

Speaker 2:

To survive, yes To survive, yes To survive, to survive. I understand my God, but at the same time, you know, I couldn't relate to that at all. I could relate to having a good time when I was young, but not that. So I think that pushed me away a little bit from him, and it's just like social media. He attracted an audience and he repelled an audience. So, you know, tupac repelled me because of that, but he attracted a whole bunch of people.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes. So yeah, and I think that it does relate to business, because people have to know. You said I know when to walk away from a sale. Yeah, you have to know when that person is not your person, that sale is not your sale and you cannot take it personally. Yes, exactly, and you cannot allow it to make you be down on yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, don't take it personally. Yeah, and that's one of the things I teach to marry the result. No, marry the activity, divorce the result. So, marry the activity is like OK, I'm going to make the result. No, marry the activity, divorce the result.

Speaker 2:

So, marry the activity is like, okay, I'm going to make the calls, you know you marry the activity, but the result don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I think David Shams talked about that too. Don't worry about the result. Now say, okay, I'm going to post every day for five days. Don't say, okay, I need to sign somebody up on Monday, I need to sign something, because then you get depressed if you don't. But if you like, I have posted, I posted. I didn't. I get one view. It doesn't stop me from posting tomorrow. Tomorrow I can get 40. The next day I can get the thousand right, but I don't. It doesn't matter what number of views. I still know I'm going to keep on going. That doesn't deter me. Yeah, keep on going. That doesn't deter me, yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's the same thing. That's the same view I've taken with the podcast I knew when I started I said it doesn't matter to me how many people are watching it live. It's here living on forever. If someone is looking to trademark, hey, I got an episode with a young lady, elle. Look at this episode and reach out to her. But I'd advise you to look at the episode so you know what she offers. You can see if that's for you and then reach out, make that consultation call with her. She's a Maggie.

Speaker 1:

Hey, you're trying to do your branding. Got just the guy, jeremy. Check this episode out and his information is in the description box. You can do that. Wait, you have a quinceanera. Wait, you want you having a wedding and you want your whole party to dance. I got just the guy for you. Mariano is amazing. Check out this episode and then reach out to him and he can.

Speaker 1:

There's so many. You have a student going to college. My first episode was with a gentleman that is doing just that Most people help people get to college. He is there to help you get through college as a student himself. That first episode happens to be with my son, manuel Swingler. I'm going to shoot you that information and that episode so you can see exactly the impact, because there were testimonies to how amazing he is on there and you want to see that. You don't want to take this mother's word for it, you want to go and see it for yourself. Those are the types of things that I'm able to do With the episode. It lives on forever, so I can't look at oh man, it's only this amount of oh man, it's only People got to work.

Speaker 2:

Someone may see it a year from now. It can change their life. Someone may see it a year from now and, because of it, introduce you to somebody who will create an opportunity for you that will change your life.

Speaker 1:

Like you just don't know. You know, praise God, you just don't know From your lips to God's ears.

Speaker 1:

I'm touching and agreeing. Thank you, god in advance. Listen, I appreciate you sticking around to the after party. It's always an after conversation where there is more to be said and more to be heard, more to be shared. I really do appreciate you. There is. There are, on average right now, over 4 million businesses started a year and two out of three businesses closed by the end of the year. So if you're watching this and you have a business, you're thinking about a business. You just how do I get that idea out here? You have someone here who is ready to assist you with that and more. Thank you, eric F King, for the after party. We will share this with everyone and see everyone in the next episode. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, no problem.