Confident You NETWORK with Marion Swingler

BONUS #15 THE AFTER PARTY: EMBRACING EMPOWERMENT AND COMMUNITY SUPPORT: Kalia Bell’s Inspiring Tale of Overcoming Depression and Uplifting Black Businesses from CYP eps 34

April 30, 2024 • Marion Swingler • Episode 15

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Navigating life's complexities can be a dance of both grace and resilience, especially when it involves transforming personal struggles into a narrative of empowerment. Kalia Bell joins us to share her deeply personal podcast journey of "Perfect Imperfections," where she bravely opens a dialogue on overcoming depression and advocating for positive imagery in the Black community. With her husband's initiative, The Flower Shop, as a backdrop, we traverse the landscape of giving back, underscoring the significance of uplifting those who enrich our neighborhoods without fanfare.

The boundaries between professional life and personal relationships are often a delicate tightrope to walk, yet Kalia illustrates how she and her husband master this balance with finesse. We step into their world, examining the critical role of clear communication and prayer in maintaining a thriving marriage while jointly steering a business. Their collective experiences, including the humor-filled dynamics between her husband and former NBA player Kenny Satterfield, serve as a testament to the power of partnership and the merits of recognizing individual capacities within a collaborative framework.

As the episode wraps, we're invited into a future brimming with possibility and the shared enthusiasm for what 2024 will usher in. Alongside Marian Swingler of The Bell Brand, we're imbued with a sense of solidarity and strength that comes from supporting small Black-owned businesses and the broader community. This conversation is a celebration of growth, an acknowledgment of shared struggles, and a pledge to continue fostering connections and inspiration through real, heartfelt exchanges, as we ready ourselves for a year of purposeful excitement and transformative change.

For more details on The Bell Brand and Merch:
 www.thebellbrand.net

CONTACT Kalia Bell
Kaliabell@themrsbrand.com

PODCAST: Perfect Imperfections with Kalia Bell
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FOLLOW on Instagram and TikTok:
 @perfectedimperfections8645  

Son Karter reads on YOUTUBE: 
Karter's Kronicles
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HUSBAND Kevin Bell
FOLLOW on IG:  @Kevbell_kb on IG

SUPPORT: The Dunn Foundation
https://www.thedunnfoundation.com/

💥 Subscribe, hit that notification bell, and most importantly, stay empowered. Because if you're looking to build a life you're proud of, you're already one of us. Welcome to the family. Let's transform your life together! 💥 #ConfidentYou #PersonalGrowth #Empowerment.

Thank you for being with us, Confident You Fam. Together, we grow stronger. 💖

CHAPTERS:
0:01 - After Party Introduction
0:37 - Family Brand Strategy
4:04 - Humorous Family Anecdotes
10:21 - Healing Journey & Family Dynamics
14:32 - Overcoming Anxiety & Depression
18:05 - Unspoken Challenges in Family Brands
20:10 - Financial Empowerment Initiatives
23:23 - Introducing the Dunn Foundation
27:28 - Accessing Dunn Foundation Resources
29:56 - Karter's Brand Updates
33:20 - Balancing Spouse & Business Relationships
36:40 - Managing Spousal Business Relations
45:50 -  Personal Self-Care Techniques
49:05 - Reflecting on Past Experiences
53:41 - Family Brand Conclusion
59:53 - Future Projects
1:00:40 - Final Outro
_________________________________________________________________
FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELP
Call for more information on domestic abuse or to get help for yourself/someone you love. 
Bethany House
1-888-80HELPS  
1-888-804-3577

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 
1-800-799- SAFE
1-800-799-7233 
__________________________________________________________________
Follow Confident You Podcast:
INSTAGRAM and FACEBOOK 
@marionswingler

INSTAGRAM 
@confidentyou_podcast

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Confident You Po

Speaker 1:

Yo, welcome to the after party. This is the after party for episode 34 with the one and only Kalia Bell. Listen, I appreciate you staying with me. My sister Listen. If you have not caught episode 34 of Confident you podcast, you definitely want to do that. In that episode she reveals the management behind the brand. But in that episode you also gave you, like brought up some hot topics that I would love to delve into. But before we do that, I just want to go ahead and tell the people how they can work with you. First, you tell them what it is that you do, so they can know why. I'm going to tell them the special things that you provide.

Speaker 2:

So I am. I am a podcaster. I host Perfect Imperfections with Kalia Bell, and you can find that on Apple and Spotify, where I share the tips, the tools and the mindset that I've used as I feel from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. But I also am a manager. I manage my husband and his podcast and his well, not podcast his platform, but you can follow me on Instagram at Perfected Imperfections. That is also my TikTok. You can also send me an email directly to Kalia Bell, which is K-A-L-I-A-B-E-L-L at themrsbrandnet and tap in connect with me. You can also check out our website, wwwthebellbrandnet, and there you can find some merch like this Never Bet Against the Culture. And you can also join our community, where we are boldly encouraging our community to live legendary. So check us out at wwwthebellbrandnet.

Speaker 1:

Come on here Boldly, encouraging our community to live legendary. Legendary. Listen, you said something. You just said, mrs Brand, and I promised the people that we would get into Mrs Brand.

Speaker 2:

Pray tell why Mrs Brand, what, what, but pray tell why Mrs Brand. So I have that name. God had given me that name for my email address. I mean years ago and this was before you know. Um, I give God all praise because he was planting the seeds that I didn't even know was going to now blossom. So the Mrs Brand I started off actually just blogging so you can actually check out wwwthemrsbrandcom, where you can read a few of my old blogs where I just started writing how I was feeling and this process of this healing journey and things like that.

Speaker 2:

And you know I am as a young Black wife, it is important for me to be an example. I think imagery is everything in our community letting people know that you can have a healthy, thriving, loving relationship in our community. As young Black, you know parents, you know it's not broken homes and things like that. So that's the narrative that I wanted to push behind and be intentional with the Mrs. You know I am a wife brand, so that's where we came from. God gave me that name years ago. That's been my email address for years and that being the first one that we were going to address.

Speaker 1:

I would like to address this story, the funny story. I like to laugh, so we're going to start with the funny story before we get to how our healing healed our household we get to how our healing healed our household.

Speaker 2:

So my husband has a really good friend, which is a brother I'm never going to say friend. My husband has a brother and the brother is a former NBA player. His name is Kenny Satterfield and they're really like that's his brother and I've been telling them for years that they need to have a program of some sort, because one Kenny is like I said, my husband's program is more so for people that may not everybody may not know their name, but they made a huge impact in you know whatever lane they were in.

Speaker 1:

Can you remind everyone of your husband's program and what that's about?

Speaker 2:

So my husband well, my husband has a program called the Flower Shop and the Flower Shop is pretty much where he's giving out flowers and appreciation to people that may not be. We say your greats, great. You know, the greats always have a great. So if you speak to some of the greats out there, they're going to name someone you know who they looked up to in their neighborhood and you may not know who that person was. But everyone has, like the greats in the hood and in their community and their know um programs wherever it's in their schools that they look up to. So they were great in their lane and they may not necessarily be I call them name, brand um or well known. So my husband's program is pretty much giving those people flowers because you know they opened the door for a lot of people. You know, when you think about husband's name, kevin bell, be kevin bell.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I, I, I always say be kevin bell because we're not getting him mixed up to the left or the right.

Speaker 2:

Now back to the funny story so his, him and his friend um had. I've been telling them for years that I wanted to, that they needed to do a program. I've been telling them for years and then one day, god just put it in my program. What did you mean? Just anything. They needed to do something for together, because the the dynamics of the two were are just like you know, it's one of those things where you know how, like you, you have a pair of people like a tv show or program, and you're like those two, something about that chemistry that works, and me, you know, just being a fly on the wall when they're interacting, because kenny is up here and my husband is like down here, but somehow they managed to break, like, somehow they just balance each other out there, you know, they just. And then they have that brother ship, so they curse, like they argue, know, and it's just like a chemistry that is such a joy to be around. And again, I'm a woman, you know, and I enjoy their banter. So I'm like, oh, you guys are perfect for podcasting, you are perfect for TV. So I've been on their back for years and you know, god put it in my spirit that I need to manage them. You know, they just need someone to direct them. I've been telling them to do it and they haven't done it. And so Kenny is very busy, you know, but we couldn't. You know. He agreed to it. He said, okay, I'm going to, you know, but we can't get him to sit down and hopefully he sees this because I'm still waiting to sit down with him. But we went to the podcast summit.

Speaker 2:

So July of this year we went to the podcast summit, my husband and I, out in Miami, and I have been prior to us going to the podcast summit. You know, I've been in my husband's ear like, listen, you have everything that you need to do, what you want to do. You're just trying to do it on such a big scale. Just start where we are. Like, let's just start right now. Get on Instagram, just start, and we get out to the podcast summit.

Speaker 2:

And I just was like I'm his manager, this is the Beyonce of the group, I'm the manager and that that. So I was caught the entire time I was like this is my Beyonce, because I know that I have the next. Like I know what I have. You know, I, you, I wrote it down actually, um, I wrote it as a, as a Facebook post, and I said I'm writing this as a memory. I know what Joe Jackson felt when he knew he had Michael Jackson, and that's what I feel about. You know what Jill Jackson felt when he knew he had Michael Jackson, and that's what I feel about. You know what I have with my husband and I know what that feels like when you know you have something great.

Speaker 1:

When you know you have something great. Now you've brought up a whole nother thing. How do you are you?

Speaker 2:

an executor. So I'm an executor now. I wasn't always an executor. I'm an executor now because I understand that you can only do what you do. You can only get what you do. So if you don't do, you can't get and you can't expect. You know, faith without works is dead. We can have all the faith in the world, but if you ain't doing the work, god can't open a door. And God is only going to open the doors of the size of the work that you want to put in. So you know I stay mindful to do that If I want big doors to open, I got to do big work to get those doors open. So, yeah, so I'm an executor now, still working on doing better about that, but definitely do it now better now okay because I see you, you're visionary yeah, so god be the glory yeah, amen, listen.

Speaker 1:

So now I'd like to get into how our healing healed our household. So we'll start with you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so it starts with me. Honestly, it starts with me. Um, like I said, I suffered with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem for so many years and you know, I didn't realize what I was in a fog, really, honestly. I was in a fog that the life that I was living and the best way that I can experience it, the best way I can explain it it was like I was living outside of myself, like I'm seeing myself live, like I'm I'm going through life, but I just was like this is not. You know, my finances was was a mess. Emotionally. I was a mess. You know my finances was a mess Emotionally. I was a mess Physically.

Speaker 2:

You know, I started gaining weight. The biggest that I was was in 2022. I had got up to 227 pounds. What's your height? I'm only 5'3". Yeah, I'm only 5'3", so, which is typically I'm a small girl. I come from a small, my mom is small, so I was always slim, thick, you know.

Speaker 2:

So, about 2012, when I had, before I got pregnant, I started gaining weight and then, after I got pregnant, you know, I just let myself go. I um the depression and now that I know what it is and I can put my finger on it. Um, the depression, anxiety became something that I started drinking more, and you know, when you drink, that's just empty calories. So I was, I became um, I became uh, what's the word? What's the word I'm looking for? I loved alcohol. I had a healthy, I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, so I would drink often and that's what made me gain all that weight. So my before 2012 I might have been like 160 pounds. That was like my average. I would stay around 160, 170. And then I just started gaining weight and before I knew it, I was 227 pounds and I could not stand what.

Speaker 2:

I looked at in the mirror and I just, you know, I prayed. I asked God you know I need help Like I need help, and God said I need you to work on yourself mentally, physically. I asked God I need help, I need help, and God said I need you to work on yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. And prior to that, I have to say, I was also in a marriage and in a space in our marriage where we were together but we weren't. We were together and we were okay, but it was still that I could see like, if we, if I cannot see that, it would be a forever thing, if that makes sense. You know, we were just going with the flow, but it was no. It was no foundation, that's what I should say. There was no. No security Like this is going to be forever.

Speaker 2:

I would say like we were in like a straw house, you know, like the three figs. Think about if I put it visually. We were like in a straw house. We were maintaining but anything could have blown that house down at any moment. And I had to. Me working on me, me finding grace within myself. I was then able to give my husband grace and by giving him grace it helped build the foundation of a brick-layered house. So now you know us being able to communicate better, having a safe space to have real conversations, even tough conversations, that real love, that genuine love. It started from the healing and I give God all praises because now I can say this is still death to its part.

Speaker 1:

But I would say last year year, it wasn't like that you just said I suffered from anxiety and depression and I know where it came from. How do you go? What were the steps that you took to go back and pinpoint? This is where it went awry.

Speaker 2:

Go back and pinpoint this is where it went awry. So I, so I've always so. One thing you know I, I am a huge advocate for therapy. You know I talk about God, I talk about the Bible, I talk about prayer, but again, when I say prayer without works is dead, so I'm a huge advocate for therapy and I've had some wonderful, amazing therapists in my life that allowed that, helped me kind of navigate and process the depression and the anxiety, my triggers and knowing, you know, when I was going into a dark space or knowing when I was becoming anxious or have anxiety.

Speaker 2:

And my mom I love her dearly is a very anxious person and you know, literally it kind of showed up in her body and I always said like I did not want that, like I did not want to always be anxious about everything you know. So those were just some things that I was again I brought to God, you know. So I speak of God in my spiritual aspect now because I did the therapy work. So anybody that's watching you know, if you've never gone to therapy, please, please, please, find you a good therapist, find you someone that you can talk to. I do, I speak from God because I did the therapy work. You know what I mean. So I did that work of going deep and knowing how to be okay with going deep into your feelings and processing it, you know. So I know how to do that for me, again through therapy, and then I just lean on God to kind of navigate that for me.

Speaker 1:

You just said, I know how to go deep, so was it a safe?

Speaker 2:

So was it a safe? Did you find a safe enough space to be totally transparent and vulnerable Now with my husband? Yes, I'm talking about even with therapy. Oh, so I've always been and, to God be the glory, I've always been okay with being vulnerable. I've always been okay with being transparent and being honest about how I felt, and that's why I've been wanting to go into podcasting forever, because I've always felt unashamed of maybe some things that I should be ashamed of, so to speak. I'm unashamed of maybe some things that I should be ashamed of, so to speak. You know, it was like always therapeutic for me to express that, you know, and also I found that, having those conversations obviously I'm not the only one of going through some of the things that I've gone through so I've always been transparent so that other people can find a safe space within me. So being vulnerable and that's always been, I would say, a gift that God has given me I've always been okay with being vulnerable.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so making that safe space, give me like the top two or three things that you feel like people won't touch on. This top this has happened to me, this is how I dealt with it and I it. I want it to be a topic that you feel people don't discuss.

Speaker 2:

Um, so people, really, I'm going to speak for my community because I am speaking to my community specifically. You know I want. I love everybody. However, I love my people and so I speak to my people, I use my voice for my people.

Speaker 2:

So one of the biggest things that we don't discuss in our community is finances. You know, we churches don't really touch on it too much. You know, we talk about the struggles and we see the struggles in our community, but we're not speaking about what we need to fix those struggles. So finances is one thing.

Speaker 2:

I would say the honesty, when it comes to parenting, we don't talk about, you know, we, everybody wants to portray parenting as some sweet oh, your kids are so sweet and it's so wonderful and it's so pretty Parenting 10 out of 10, I would not recommend 10 out of 10, I would not recommend. So we don't, we don't talk about the truth behind parenting and I just think you know anything where it comes to just within ourselves, you know, taking a look at ourselves, sometimes we like to finger point. Well, I would finger point and place blame about some of the things that I was going through, some of the things that I've experienced and some of the things that I've experienced and I had to take a look in the mirror and say, kalia, maybe it's you, maybe you're the problem, you know. So those are the three things that I think that we can definitely do better in talking about and bringing voice and light to in our community.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so through your podcast, give me something that you have brought light to financially. That would help our community.

Speaker 2:

So, financially, I'm still learning about that, you know. But I definitely speak on being better, being better stewards with our resources. So I do speak on, you know, knowing when you don't have it, it's okay to not have it. It's okay to not go, it's okay to not buy. You know preparing to. You know, when I say go, I mean like trips and things like that, because I've definitely been on vacations where I came back and didn't have lunch money when I returned and you know understanding that that may not have been the best decision. So you know, preparing is budgeting, things like that. So I'm just kind of sharing as I'm learning what I'm learning, you know, because ironically, the thing that I'm learning is like it's so obvious. You know it makes sense to budget, it makes sense to not go on vacation if you don't have money to return from vacation. These things make sense. But in reality, when you're living, you're just living and you're just doing, you know. So I'm just shedding light.

Speaker 2:

You know we have a um in our business. We are going to do random acts of kindness um where some of our proceeds will go to us blessing um strangers in the street. So no rhyme or reason, just anyone. It doesn't matter what you look like, what you're wearing. You know we want to be a blessing to someone, because we do know that sometimes it could just be just buying food can be a struggle for families.

Speaker 2:

And you know, we, just this past Saturday, we had the advantage of doing a turkey drive with the Dunn Foundation. That we do every year and we handed out like over 600 turkeys in size to families. Because we do not understand, you know how you can look at someone, because I mean, I'm talking about there were all type of cars on this line for a turkey Benzes, jaguars, lexuses and you can't assume that everyone is good, you know. And just the idea that someone is in a place where they have to be on the line, you know, to get a turkey in size for their Thanksgiving, it opens your mind to there are a lot of people that need help. You know, and you don't know that they need help and we're speaking from experiences. There were times where we were just barely making it, you know, figuring out having to break up $20 for dinner. You know what I mean. So, um, yeah, we're just sharing that. Just, you know, from our experience, from our seat, the Dumb.

Speaker 1:

Foundation. I would like for you to share more about who that is, what that is and what other things they do for the community. I was very excited when you shared it with me. I would love for the Confident Youth family to hear about it.

Speaker 2:

Sure, so actually, the Dunn Foundation. Dunn is actually my brother-in-law and he had this foundation that this is actually his 12th year where and it started from one turkey. He just thought he one year he just purchased one one turkey just to bless somebody with it and it's been growing every year since then. Um, done the done foundation does all types of things. He does, uh, for christmas he does every year he goes out and he he creates, excuse me, like warming packages for the homeless out in like the dc area, so he'll give out like blankets and gloves and things like that to the homeless community every christmas morning.

Speaker 2:

Um, thanksgiving, like I said, he does the turkey drive where we give out turkeys and size. Um, we do backpack drive, so we, you know, we give school supplies and backpacks. He does Mother's Day. He has like luncheons for mothers of the homeless community. He's a vet, so he works with the veterans community, the veterans homeless community, so he does so much for the underserved and underprivileged and again it goes down to just a simple meal because he's big on that.

Speaker 2:

When you think of the holidays and things, you think about the just sitting down, eating Things that we take for granted of having that you know. So he wants to be able to help in any kind of way where you know back to school Parents have so much to worry about kind of way where you know back to school parents have so much to worry about. If I, if I know that I that I don't have to get the book bag and some of the um supplies, then at least that's one thing that I can take off of my list of things that I have to get. You know, so he's a blessing and it's, it's just, uh, it's, it is an honor, it is an absolute honor to be part of that. It's just. I thank God all the time that we're able to be in that space and to give. It's so, it's so great to give.

Speaker 1:

Yeah I, when you told me about it, I couldn't help but give. I just want everyone to know Listen, he gave away turkeys, two sides and beverage, so you, you would have your whole meal covered, down to the drink. Each family, thirty dollars. Thirty dollars to cover each family. When mrs brand told me, when he doesn't reach the donation quota, he goes into his pocket, so he's still going to reach his goal. That determination is something that I feel we all need to have.

Speaker 2:

Every year and having that as my brother in love I give him. You know, I say all the time I thank God for my husband. But in addition to me thanking God for my husband and, of course, our beautiful children, the relationship that I've garnered through him. My brother in love is one of them. He is truly. He's one of the reasons why we're in Maryland, because he lives in Maryland, so he's one of the reasons why we're down here.

Speaker 2:

And just having someone with that kind of mindset, like you said, that determination because he doesn in Maryland, so he's one of the reasons why we're down here. And just having someone with that kind of mindset, like you said, that determination because he doesn't care If he's registered 600 turkeys and he only gets 100 donations, he is coming out of his pocket for the other 500. Having that determination, having that, you know, that desire to help our community, that hunger for kids when he's around children, forget about it Like that, the way that he is around young adults and things, is just a blessing to be in his presence and it's even more such a blessing to say that that's my family. You know, I'm so grateful for him.

Speaker 1:

Amen, I'm grateful for him as well. I did not want to brush past the done foundation I definitely want the confident you family to know about it. I definitely will put that link as well I appreciate searching box when I put that link in there.

Speaker 1:

I just want to let you know. I went to the site. It took me a minute to find donation he hasn't sold. The font is less than eight. At the time I'm like okay, the humility, brother, I couldn't. I kept scrolling and that's how I found out all the other things yeah that he was doing. I was focused on the turkey drive, but that's how I've realized wait, he's, he's doing this and this and this and this just trying to find the donation button.

Speaker 1:

It is very, very top on a very, very tiny on the top toolbar and I'm like humility, I'm going to need to talk to him. He needs to make that button.

Speaker 2:

I would tell him. I would definitely tell him, I would give that takeaway. I would definitely tell him. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Now what it did do is make me scroll through the whole page and see everything. But if those buttons at the top? He had them tiny and small, just a little bit bigger. So that you know it'll be so much easier. I don't want anyone to get there and be like I don't see the donation button, so I'm good.

Speaker 2:

Right, I don't want. I want there and be like I don't see the donation button so I'm good, right, I don't want. I want anything and you know anything, anything, because he does so much. When I say he does a lot, he does a lot. Thankfully he's partnered with chick-fil-a, is one of his partners that he partners with. I know that he had, um, like a dental company that he was partnering with, that he's trying, you know, want to make sure not only that we're feeding our community, but he's teaching finances, german needs, like he has, like financial literacy pamphlets that he'll put in the bag, or like toothbrush and back to school he would have. Like a truck that he would have free dental checks and exams and things like that. So so much for our community and is, like I said, anything, anything helps, you know, and even just sharing a message helps. So it's just, it's such a blessing.

Speaker 1:

And your son. I apologize, I know I'm backtracking, but in the main episode we didn't I don't believe we did say where they can find him, his site, where he looks, so you can find it on youtube carter chronicles.

Speaker 2:

Carter is spelled with the k. Please do not spell his name with a c, because he will have a fit part of chronicles Carter Chronicles. So Carter is K-A-T-E-R and Chronicles is also with the K K-R-O-N-I-C-L-E-S. Okay, so, carter Chronicles, we're the K crew.

Speaker 1:

Yes, the K crew. Let me find out. You surely are.

Speaker 2:

We are. My entire family name starts with a K.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and I want you to know, my entire family's name started with a k. I want you to understand because let me at, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and ladies and ladies and ladies and gentlemen, this woman looked at me and said I'm from maryland, ma'am, uh-uh no, no, I just I am all the way New York, harlem, new York.

Speaker 2:

However, my soul wait, my soul is I'm a New Yorker through and through, but I am transitioning to Maryland. I'm from Maryland, I'm from Maryland.

Speaker 1:

You can't even say that thing, right? No, ma'am. No, ma'am too, can't say it. Listen to me, let me tell you. Let me tell you what. Let me know that you a Harlem girl through and through. They can take the girl out of Harlem, but they can't take the Harlem out the girl. Listen on the, on the Confident you episode, when you said, yeah, I'm the one they call when they want to hide a body. I'm like, wait, wait, yeah, I'm the one they call when they want to hide a body. I'm like, wait, olivia Pope, I have Olivia Pope. Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet Mrs Randall. Give me a pose. I need you to clean that up.

Speaker 2:

We need to clean that up Not to hide the body. I am helping them not to be in the position where they hide the body.

Speaker 1:

Where they don't have a body.

Speaker 2:

Make a body Right. We don't want to have anybody, so they call me when they don't want to hurt somebody. So I am the one to talk someone off of the ledge. Yes, I am the calm down one. So we have a funny joke between my two best friends from high school. So one would call if they wanna turn up, I'm the one that I will call. Well, you will call me if it's like. I want a reasonable answer because I'm the one that I will call. Well, you will call me if it's like. I want a reasonable answer Because I'm going to give you reason. I'm going to. My daughter is always, you know, she'll call me and she's like Ma, whose side are you on? I'm always on the side of right. I'm always on the side of right.

Speaker 1:

You and my son are cut from the same cloth. That's my son.

Speaker 2:

I'm always on the side of right that is my son.

Speaker 1:

My son stays on the side of dick.

Speaker 2:

You're not, ma it doesn't matter, I love you, but you're wrong, yeah, so they usually call me after they um have processed the fact that they know that they're bugging, and they're okay, because I'm gonna tell you you're bugging is that what you're going to do?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I think they call you because they know that's what I said. But they have to process, you know, because I do. I have another friend and she's like I was. She was like I didn't want to call you because I know you would have talked, yeah. So I'm like I'm glad you know that.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad you know that I'm glad you know, yeah, so another topic that I wanted to touch on was husband and client. Woo, you're the management of the brand for your husband, who is also your client and also my coworker. She rude, and also your coworker. How, how do you make that work?

Speaker 2:

The grace of God, honey, honestly, really honestly, because you know one thing that again, this could not have been done without me doing my inner work. We would not be able to even have what we have or be where we were had I not did the inner work, because one you have to know who you have and who you're dealing with. That's the most important. That's why it's kind of it's easy for me to transition into management as a spouse because I know my husband. So, like I'm the one that places the orders when he orders dinner, you know, like I know what he likes to eat, I know what ticks him off, I know, you know, like I know him, so it's easy to manage that aspect. But having to know how to disconnect from spouse, you know, that was something that that he has to now understand and work through because I have to remind him. You know, I'm not your wife right now, I'm your manager. So this is not your wife nagging you, this is your manager, giving you expectation of what needs to be done, and you know so. Having being able to one him, understand me, knowing that there's two different places and knowing that he may hear me as one person, two different places and knowing that he may hear me as one person. So you know, like I said, it had a lot to do with me doing my inner work of knowing how to show up, knowing who he is, so understanding his bandwidth. So it goes back to giving grace.

Speaker 2:

I made me, being a manager for five, six years at my silent investor, knowing what it takes to lead and him not necessarily having that kind of like individual leadership in that style, but giving him the grace of like learning that you now need to be managed, a certain kind of you know, like that type of thing. So knowing what I have, knowing to give him the grace and knowing how to communicate effectively as well, as is the biggest thing, knowing when to be quiet, learning when to just okay. Okay, you know that was something that is still a challenge, but I give it to God, you know, do I? Do I fight about this? Do I say okay? When do I have this conversation? Um, so I really, you know, a lot of prayer goes into my job, a lot of prayer prayer goes into my job, a lot of prayer.

Speaker 1:

I would imagine that coming home from work or is work at home.

Speaker 2:

Work is at home, everything is in the house.

Speaker 1:

Everything is in the house. How do you go from room to room? Do you find that you have to acknowledge? This is your wife? Is that a daily thing or is this? Do you say that statement? This is your manager speaking.

Speaker 2:

This is your wife speaking when it's needed when it's needed, only when it's needed, um, you know, because there are some. There's some things where you know like, if I'm saying I need you to do this, he may not understand why it needs to be done and just thinks that I just want you to do it, just because that's what I think, and I'm like no, no, no, no, this is, this is what I need for the business, this is what I need from you, um, so it's, I don't have to say that, unless it's like really, you know, really needed Um, but I do say it like I'm not sure why, cause, like when we first started and he was like he would be, like you know, you're all in a business and I'm like that's literally my job. My job literally is to be in your business, like literally. So I need you to understand that I'm going to be in your business. How did you become his manager? I just told him I'm your manager.

Speaker 1:

Literally, and he wasn't doing anything already. You told him you were his manager, and then you told him what he was going to do as your client we so.

Speaker 2:

But the thing is my husband and I we used to prior to his program with the lunchroom and um, but prior to his program with the lunchroom and the flower shop, my husband, um, kevin bell, the kevin bell and his two and two of our brothers from another mother. We had a. I used to produce the podcast that they had but they used to tease me and call me cookie lions from um empire because they was like I'm the cookie lions of their podcast because I was like the producer. So he was kind of familiar with me in that lane of kind of being on top setting up the recording studio time and getting who we're going to talk to and the topics and things like that. So he was kind of familiar with that. That was a really big. The block talk was a huge. It was a wonderful podcast that unfortunately, what happens in our community is consistency is the killer of a lot of success. So if you are someone, that lack of consistency I should say is a killer of success. So if you're someone and you started something I saw something recently with Tabitha Brown said finish what you started and I'm speaking from experience Finish what you started. The block talk was this was a podcast before a lot of these cultural male panelists podcasts that we have now, like the Joe Budden show, and there is a show called it Is what it Is, with Mase and Cameron, which are two rappers and they have a program. So the block talk was that before these shows, but we just did not. We weren't consistent with it and we really had something great. So he was familiar with me and how my take charge and you know my that kind of aspect and you know my that kind of aspect.

Speaker 2:

Then, when that broke off, we started masterminding, trying to figure out what worked for him, because I'm like you still. I'm stuck, like you have something, there's something there. What is it that you want to do? So we would actually, after work, we would go to Friday's in Queens. There was a Friday's in Queens right across the bridge, because happy hour, you know, half off appetizers and drink Cause we was going mass amount on the budget. So we would go to Fridays and we would come up with these elaborate ideas. What we thought were elaborate until last year.

Speaker 2:

God was like all of those things that I placed in you for a reason, you guys are not using any of it. You know none of it. So we started just when I started this healing journey and I'm like honey. One day I was in the shower and God told me coming out the shower, he said go and write a business contract. God told me coming out the shower. He said go and write a business contract and I want you to write it. And it was like maybe 12, 12 steps for our family business contract.

Speaker 2:

Not at the time, I didn't know anything. You know, the Bell brand has always again, this is what I say when God God gives you things and you just have to be pay attention to it, because the Bell brand has always been something that I would, you know, kind of play on. So his email address has always been Kev Bell brand. I've always spoke to him as a brand and when I say decades, like years, I would speak to him as a brand. And I was in the shower and it had to have been like December of 2022. God had told me to come out, write a contract, a family contract, for the Bell brand, and it was a 12 step contract that God put together. And I said, honey, we're really going to take our business serious, we're really going to get serious with this business and that's kind of how it started. Ideas started flowing and, like I said, at the podcast summit, I was just like talking to somebody. I was like oh, I'm his manager. And that's just how it started, like literally, I just was like I'm his manager.

Speaker 1:

He was like OK, Out of nowhere, just out of your mouth. Isn't it something how you can speak and when I have.

Speaker 2:

so journaling is so important. Writing, speaking and doing those are the three lessons that God has taught me on this journey Speak the life that you want, write the life that you want and do the work to get the life that you want. So I have so many journal entries of the management company and what it's going to be, and it's just me flowing from my heart. So now when I look back on it, it's still like God, I'm doing all of that. Okay, you know that type of thing, but it's still kind of like I can't. You know that old inner me tries to show up in, you know, question. But again, I don't question who my God is and what my God can do. I just get out the way. What do you need me to do, lord? And I move out the way.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, that's a beautiful way to live your life. Just, you know, being obedient and aware of what it is he's asking of you and willing to do. Because when I say obedient, I know that that word rubs some people the wrong way, but it's the awareness and the willingness to do and the willingness to do so.

Speaker 2:

It doesn't rub me the wrong way because I understand as a child, you have to be obedient and I am not on the same level as God, so I need to be obedient to what God tells me to do. So, for me, I am very aware that obedience open doors and I need to be obedient. So, yeah, and that's something that, of course, is still a challenge when you've lived your way for so long and you've done your thing for so long and you've been who you are for so long. I'm 42 years old, you know, and who, like I said, who I am today, on November 19, 2023, is not the same. I'm looking at all my old posts. So now I am in the annual like. So now this is my anniversary of when I started this journey, so knowing where I came from from the beginning and where I am today, you know I give God all the praises, but, of course, you know it took the obedience of me, knowing what he is telling me to do, despite of who I think that I am, you know.

Speaker 1:

Who I think that I am. Listen, God, tell God what your plans are. So he's going to laugh.

Speaker 2:

Hysterically oh, you thought that was going happen.

Speaker 1:

Okay, sure, let me know when you're ready. Right, right, let me know when you're ready what I have in store for you just let me know when you're ready.

Speaker 1:

You were just, uh, speaking on oh my goodness, let me know when you're ready. You were just speaking on oh my goodness, let me know when you're ready. You were just speaking on your husband and business and being a wife, and you also were speaking on being a parent and being the manager and being the coworker, and before this we were talking about cooking Thanksgiving dinner and being everything to everyone else. How do you not leave yourself out of the process of the day and also serve yourself? Because I think, as women, especially Black women, that's kind of what they groomed us to do when we got here is serve, serve, serve, serve outwardly. What do you do to make sure that you're being fit, understanding that you pray, understanding that you spend time with God, understanding that you journal, but when do you also sit down to make sure you're taking up that physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, altogether you?

Speaker 2:

So I do that daily. So again, that comes with the healing aspect where you, when you learn yourself. So I'm also a self-care advocate. I advocate for taking care of yourself and loving yourself and the importance of that and um. So I set boundaries, you know. So right now I'm actually in a season of service where God has me serving a lot, um, way more than I'm used to serving, um, but I'm praying and asking God. If you want me to do, I want to do it with a happy, humble heart, but trust me, I don't always do. But he has me in a season of serving but I do it daily. So I set boundaries for myself daily.

Speaker 2:

So my place in space is my patio. So when I'm typically on my patio I have some music going. You know that's where I would journal sometimes. Sometimes I'll just pray, Sometimes I'm creating content on my patio, but typically when I'm out there, don't, don't bother me, you know so. You know so I mean I spend hours out there. So you know, sometimes you can bother me because because I'm now on my fourth hour on my patio, but I definitely set boundaries for myself.

Speaker 2:

My family, they don't have 24-7 access to me and they know that. So I take time, whether it's sitting on my patio or taking a long bath. You know I love I'll have a candlelit bath, have the music going, bubbles and all of that. So I definitely, you know, I make sure that I'm feeding myself, because I'm not going to serve from an empty cup. I can't. So I have to make sure that I am filling myself up and if it's one of those days where mommy and babe just is not feeling it, I'm okay with expressing Today is just a rough day for me and I just need some time.

Speaker 1:

When did you realize that that's what you needed? When did you realize that that's what you needed? Like I, I could imagine that when you were in a season of anxiety and depression and, um, low self-esteem, that would not have been a season where you were feeding yourself in that way. What were you doing then? And drinking drinking.

Speaker 2:

So you know alcohol was my um and this I still have. Well, no, I'm. It's still a challenge sometimes, um, but not as bad as it was before. But um, you know, drinking and and smoking weed and things like that. I would find other outlets to kind of lean on um, and that was like an escape mechanism, you know not processing and not you know accepting where, where I was you know not happy with my life. So I would use alcohol and weed to um kind of mask that you know um not not as a recreation thing. It was becoming like a crutch, so to speak, to kind of handle things. So that was, you know that was my outlet before, um, but now you know the, the journaling, the prayer, how you start your morning. You know that was my outlet before, but now you know the journaling, the prayer, how you start your morning, you know.

Speaker 2:

So a routine. You know people kind of don't understand the importance of having a daily routine, how that can set your mind up. You know what you feed yourself. The first thing in the morning is how your day can kind of, you know, go. So in the morning I don't look at my phone. I give God a few minutes to just I thank you for being alive. You know that type of thing and in the morning I try to not try, but I typically listen to something inspirational before I put on anything that's going to feed me anything negatively. And then you know, we have the morning meetup from 745 to nine. So you know how my morning is pretty much where I, where I start.

Speaker 2:

And I noticed, and I really noticed that and again, I speak from experience because just recently, um, I woke up on the other side of my flesh and I just allowed it to penetrate me and I didn't even realize like it ended up. I woke up maybe at six o'clock and before I knew it it was like 12 o'clock and my day was just disgusted. And but that's because I allowed that to get into my spirit and continue to grow. I didn't wake up with the right mindset, and you know. So morning routine, that's a huge thing for me, huge.

Speaker 1:

Huge, I would say that is definitely a huge thing to have a morning routine to set your day, to set your mind, to set your spirit, to lay a foundation for the day that you're about to go through Right, right, it's very important, very important.

Speaker 2:

That was something that.

Speaker 2:

I would. I used to have to leave my house at 530 to get to work and I wouldn't get up until like 510. 5.30 to get to work and I wouldn't get up until like 5.10, just enough to like wash. You know, get my face together and just run up like literally running out the house and things like that, and that's just asinine, like why am I stressing myself out? You know you got to go to bed a little earlier, got to wake up. You know, give yourself some time. So just those things changing, you know, just changing the outlook of how you see your day and the importance of having structure to your day and stuff like that.

Speaker 2:

And I'm a strong believer of how you do. One thing is how you do all things. So how I, you know, I, I that's also something that I feed myself when I'm feeling myself half, you know, being a half behind. You know I wanted to use another word but I won't. But you know, like not fully pouring in, I'm like I remind myself like hey, how you do one thing is how you do all things. So you need to show up a hundred percent in this. And it could be something so small, like even real, you know, like it doesn't matter what it could be. Whatever it is, I need to make sure that I'm showing up fully a hundred percent, because how I do one thing is how I do all things.

Speaker 1:

How I do one thing is how I do all things. What a great way to end this after after party. I appreciate you staying and hanging out and sharing even more details behind the management of a brand and the relationships that lie behind there, the giving, the service that lie behind there, the mental stability, the health of your spirit. Behind there, the mental stability, the health of your spirit, the emotional capacity that you have to control yourself, to be strong, to be able to show up 100%, because how you show up one place.

Speaker 2:

Is that how you said it? How you do one thing is how you do all things, but absolutely, how you show up in one place is how you show up in other places. My god, yeah, once you be creating, I'm, I'm. I am now becoming the woman that I am, that I was destined to be, so in all aspects.

Speaker 1:

So you heard it, confident you family. We are seeing the becoming. I can't wait to check back in with you because in a year you have managed.

Speaker 2:

Listen here. I don't even know what God has in store for 2024, but I know that I already said we better buckle up, buttercup, because it's about. It is about to take off and I'm excited, I am grateful, I give god praise all the time for, you know, every door closed, every no, everything that feels so uncomfortable. I am grateful for it because I know that, I know that I know, as long as I continue to do what God has for me to do, he is going to turn all things to the good. So I'm excited. 2024 is about to take off 2024 is about to take off.

Speaker 1:

Listen everyone, please go please check my.

Speaker 2:

Check out the podcast.

Speaker 1:

Perfect imperfections with kalia bell. You want to go there? Listen? Do me a favor. Confident you podcast family. Go over there right now and follow follow and subscribe and listen.

Speaker 2:

You know, let know, I'm still kind of building and it's great because this is the start. You know I'm excited. I want everybody to be part of my start. You know it's nothing. It feels so good when you're starting, when you're part of someone's start. You know I've been a part of a lot of starts, like the tap at the Browns and the Kevon stages, and you know other people that I follow and to see where they are now and just to know of the evolution is is just, is is great to be at the start. So this is the start of perfect imperfections with Kalia Bell. This is the start of the bell brand. This is the start of who we are and I'm I I'm just so excited for everyone to see what we're about to do, because one thing that we are saying if god can do it for us, trust me, he can do it for you.

Speaker 1:

And with that we will say great day to all, because if God can do it for us, he certainly can do it for you. Listen, I want you to go and subscribe to my sister's channel. Ring that notification bell, check out those episodes, keep up with her. You can hear the positivity, you can hear the heart that she has to serve, not just her. Her and her family, yeah, have to serve. Make sure you check out her son.

Speaker 2:

Give that information again, ma'am so carter chronicles k a r. Please don't spell his name with a C. He has a fit, literally does Carter with a K K-A-R-T-E-R. Chronicles with a K K-R-O-N-I-C-L-E-S. You can find that on YouTube. I'm excited to see what he is about to become, because God gave us some wonderful gifts and I'm so glad that he allowed us to heal so that we can make sure that they walk in their purpose. So I'm excited, I'm excited.

Speaker 1:

I'm grateful for the healing you went through and the healing that blessed your family. I am grateful, I'm excited that you're so open and honest and willing to share your journey so that people don't feel as though it's just me, I'm the only one. It's. Nobody else is going through this. I need us all to understand we ain't that special. I know that sounds crazy. It's like wait what? No, you're special, but you're not that that, that component of life, you're not.

Speaker 2:

You're not the You're not the only one.

Speaker 1:

You're the only one with your gift. You're the only one who your audience needs to stand up and do that special thing that you do. But you are not the only one going through Whatever those things you're going through. There are other people and you would not. You would be surprised.

Speaker 2:

Listen, listen, you would be surprised. We are all just trying to make it. You know, one day at a time, you know, and that's why we want to share our platform to make sure that everyone knows. You know, we are we, we are a community, we, we have been there, we've done it, we've gone through, we have experienced it. When I say God is amazing, I don't say it because I've never gone through anything. I say it because God has kept me and gave me that peace that surpasses understanding. So I'm speaking from experience. God is amazing because he, God, is amazing, and you're not the only one that has gone through things. So that is what we want to share.

Speaker 1:

My Lord. Well, hopefully I'll be able to be on her podcast soon.

Speaker 2:

I'm excited because I haven't. I have no um podcast with anyone else, no episodes with anyone else. So now I'm, now I am going into taking it more seriously. That is going to be my dedication and tapping into just utilize, utilizing what I have, like this, you know platform and things like that. So that is what I'm, I will definitely be doing in 2024.

Speaker 1:

That is my main focus there it is, and I'll be happy you. I just let me know when and when and where if I need to log in or show up you got it I.

Speaker 1:

I really do honor you and your family I appreciate the servant's hearts that you all have, even down to your son, because he enjoys reading, but he's reading for the benefit of others. I think that is absolutely. I've heard people going to the hospital. I've never heard of, you know, a kid just going. Okay, you know I enjoy reading, I can go ahead. So you know I really honor that. Down to the baby. I know he's not a baby Listen, don't be mad at me but you a baby. He's still a baby. He's still a baby. He's still the baby. Listen all right.

Speaker 1:

So everyone, thank you. As always, confident U is here to give you just those confident tips, tools and tactics for life, for business. You may know someone that you're like man, that thing they do. I could help them with that. They really need to be doing some of the things she said. That's a great place to start to build, to share, just open. She literally said my husband, let's just start with what we have, let's just open Instagram and get it going and look, now she was able to list out things that you can connect with her on. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate for let me use my voice, so thank you so much for I appreciate this. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

You have an impactful story to share and that is exactly what we need here. On Confident you All right, everyone See you in the next episode, all right. So now that's over. Now we will do. Last thing testimony. So let me give my testimony about you being here first and then, if you could give a testimony about you being here and the host, you know that girl, all right, hold on episode 34 of Confident you podcast as well as the after party from episode 34 Confident you podcast, and that was episode 15. Number 15.

Speaker 1:

Listen, I have been speaking with people and this woman here came in to tell us the management behind the brand in the confident you episode and then in the after party. She really got into the relationships and the servant's heart and everything that goes into being that manager and that especially that self care. Both episodes she just gave so much impact and value value in who you are to be, value in whose you are and who you are. I was so honored to have my sister here, listen, sister, sister, sister in womanhood, sister in Christ. So honored and so grateful to have her here. Listen, kalia Bell is not just a manager of brands. That brand spread into her own self and out to her husband, out to her children. And then let me tell you she is so freely sharing the knowledge and wisdom that she has. You have to check out her podcast. Listen. I'm telling everybody from Confident U go over there. If you are following me here, go over there, follow her, subscribe to her channel and check out those episodes. She is giving great value. She is sharing her heart. The impact of her healing, healed her family. That's beyond being an entrepreneur. That goes into the heart of being a person, of being a healthy person that walks this earth making an impact in other people's lives. Then she goes into how her husband's family also gives, into families of others. Listen, I want you to also go to the Dunn's Foundation. You want to go there because you want to make an impact and it doesn't matter the amount she said. Listen, everything helps. It doesn't matter the amount. She is making space for everyone to be able to take part in helping families and helping our community to become stronger and better Wiser financially, giving food, giving school supplies, giving financial information. The Dunn's Foundation make sure you go and check them out. She talks about her husband. You definitely want to tune into the episode to get more information about that, especially if you're a sports fanatic. You want to find out who you need to be following, who you need to be checking into. Listen, if you like books her son, yeah, just reads them, but he's not reading them plainly. His animation and take on what's being put to paper. Him bringing it to life is what he actually does. I'm telling you, check into the episode so you can get the details of all of that, because it's woven into everything that she talks about. She's an amazing person. Listen, you want to make sure.

Speaker 1:

Perfected imperfections with Kalia Bell. That's her podcast. Please go and subscribe. Thank you, kalia, for coming through. You're amazing for taking this time. Listen, thanksgiving week. Thank you for taking this time. I, thanksgiving week. Thank you for taking this time. I appreciate you. Thank you. All right, your turn. Please smile, count to three to yourself and then stop.

Speaker 2:

So thank you so much. Confident you Podcast. Marian Swingler, thank you so much for having me, allowing me to have a place to use my voice, to tell my story, to get our brand out there. As a small Black business, we are right now hustling and grinding. We're not hustling, but we're grinding and working to try to get our word out there, to try to get our message out there, to spread the word. So it is a blessing to be on this platform to use my voice to tell our story, to let everyone know what we're doing. I really do appreciate that. Again, wwwthebellbrand the P-H-E, bellbrand, b-e-l-l brandnet that is where we are boldly encouraging our community to live legendary. We're just sharing the love of what we're learning and we're letting our people know listen, we are just like you, we are growing, we are healing in real time. And, again, if we could do it I say this all the time If we could do it, if we are doing it, trust me when I tell you you can too, and that is what we wanted to give out to our community. So make sure that you're tapped into again, wwwthebellbrandnet. There you will be able to connect. You'll have all of our social media information there.

Speaker 2:

My podcast again is Perfect Imperfections with Kalia Bell. That is on Spotify, apple Podcasts, and follow me on Instagram at my Perfected imperfections or TikTok, as well. There I want to share inspirational messages, positive imagery. I am there to share joy. We have enough anger and hate and just mess in the world and I want to just share joy and happiness and how to pull out of our dark spaces. So please make sure that you're following Again. Thank you so much for this platform to use my voice and to tell my story. I appreciate it. Thank you so much, my sister. So I definitely will be back and I cannot wait until we connect again. So thank you for having me.